[hannahwilson]

Hey
this is my first time using this so im not too sure what is and isnt allowed. I've been diagnosed with depression as of tuesday last week, i'm 23 and appear pretty outgoing to most but actually ive been pretty low over the course of 2 years and lack any motivation anymore.

My parents keep saying they will support me and help me as much as possible but my relationship with them has never been good due to my mood swings. But now, knowing that I have depression my mum will still say things like 'Oh you're in a funny mood', 'Cheer up' and stuff like 'Don't talk to her shes in one of her moods' Knowing full well that it isnt a mood, im just low almost all the time. I've tried saying to her that when she says these things it makes me feel worse about myself and raises my anxiety levels which i can physically feel as my heart races, her response was 'i cant change everything i do now because of you' which is brilliant and 'this effects us all youve made our lives hell'. I realize its only been a week since ive been diagnosed but about a year ago I had counselling too I just didn't want to admit that I had a problem I dont think. Im really unsure what to do as being around my parents is making me worse but I can't cut them out, I don't know what else I can even say to my mum to try and make her understand because even before the GP told me I have depression I had told my mum to stop saying this stuff to me as it makes me feel so bad about myself.

Any advice on anything I could do to try and make her actually realize that her words are toxic?

Thanks soo much

Hello hannahwilson, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit.

Unfortunately for those of us with mental illness, it is hard for others who don't go through it to understand what it is we go through. It may appear from the outside that depression is easy to fix, but that just isn't the case. If you have a psychiatrist or therapist, I recommend taking your parents with you to discuss your feelings about the language they use around you. Your parents may mean well and want the best for you, but aren't sure how to communicate that. A psychiatrist or therapist would be able to better explain depression and how it is a very real and very serious illness. Perhaps your parents would be more open to hearing it from a "professional".

Aside from that, I'd say to move out of your parents' place when you are financially and mentally able to. Independence is awesome and would probably help you on your way to recovery.

[Fizzyo]

welcome to PC.

I'm sorry you have so much difficulty with your parents.
A friend of mine has a similar sort of problem, her mum doesn't know how to help so she just gets mad.

It may be worth looking on line for descriptions of what depression is like and find one that rings true with you and show them that?
It's true though, families get into ways of reacting to one another and habits are hard to change!

Good luck, keep posting and I hope you find as much understanding here as I have.