[samj40]

I'm tired.

My depression has ruined all of my friendships and my relationship (I dunno if it's even a relationship any more, honestly). No matter what I do, I can't stop it from rearing its head and messing everything up for me. I can't enjoy anything, I can't think about anything other than dying, my dreams have been distorted into vivid, semi-conscious nightmares.

I'm currently on a waitlist to see a psychiatrist and I have a therapist, but my therapist is little more than a sounding board that simply agrees with me on everything. My meds don't work whatsoever and I'm tired of pushing people away when I try to turn to them for some comfort.

I just... Really want to be dead. There's no other way out, at this point. I've been trying to fight this monster off since I was 11, I'm now 28. So... Yeah, like 2/3s of my short life have been taken by this beast.

[Krow]

I am not sure how to offer any advice concerning your depression, seeing that I have never suffered from anything particularly severe myself. However, if it lightens your mood at all, I often look up ambient sounds on YouTube. There are quite a lot of them-- rainfall, crickets, fireplaces, grandfather clocks, etc. If nothing else, they do help me feel at peace. Even if they do not work in the long-term, they do usually offer some stabilization in the short-term.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by samj40

I'm tired.

My depression has ruined all of my friendships and my relationship (I dunno if it's even a relationship any more, honestly). No matter what I do, I can't stop it from rearing its head and messing everything up for me. I can't enjoy anything, I can't think about anything other than dying, my dreams have been distorted into vivid, semi-conscious nightmares.

I'm currently on a waitlist to see a psychiatrist and I have a therapist, but my therapist is little more than a sounding board that simply agrees with me on everything. My meds don't work whatsoever and I'm tired of pushing people away when I try to turn to them for some comfort.

I just... Really want to be dead. There's no other way out, at this point. I've been trying to fight this monster off since I was 11, I'm now 28. So... Yeah, like 2/3s of my short life have been taken by this beast.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Please hold on until you see your pdoc. You're not alone. If you need to talk I'm here.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sending supportive hugs your way