Everything seems so hard - help, please?

I'm going through hard times with a family member being terminally ill. I have bipolar disorder and I have cycled into a major depressive episode.

I'm not suicidal and I'm on meds....but I feel awful and I'm not functioning. I'm sleeping 15+ hours a day, I'm brushing my teeth and hair, but that's it. I'm not showering, etc. I'm disabled so at least I don't have work stress.

I am taking my meds, but my "med schedule" is off because I'm asleep almost all of the time. The excess sleeping is because of the depression. I see my T on Friday, although I really don't know how she can help me.

I just want this to go away. However, my pdoc said my rapid cycling into a major depression is likely because of my family member dying. I'm on a good med combo....there's no magic pill.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can feel better? Or get on the road to feeling better? I thought about showering but I'm so exhausted I don't know if I have the energy to do it.

Hugs to anyone out there that is depressed and any tips or words of hope are appreciated.

Hello glamslam: I'm sorry you are struggling with this most difficult situation. I don't know as there is much of anything I could suggest that would be of help as far as getting you on the road to feeling better. But I wanted to at least leave a reply letting you know I read your post & I send hugs with the hope that, in some way, you may be able to find strength, vitality & deep peace within...

What I do to myself to try and reverse my depression:

1). Set alarms for bedtime and time to wake up
2). Make a short and "easy" task list to accomplish for the day
3). Journal at the start and end of the day.
4). Walk down the street and back at least once every other day.

I don't know if these will work for you, but try 'em out. I don't think they can harm.

Hi glamslam

I'm really sorry for the situation you're in right now
And if only there were a magic pill.......but...........

The med combo you were on may have been good before.........before you've had this thrown at you..........before you've had the situation with the family member going on...........but it's natural that this is going to have an impact on you, so maybe not so good now??
Maybe you could talk to your pdoc more about the problems you're having for a review of your meds..........it might even be that they can alter the dose/times, or give you slower release medication to get past the problems with keeping on schedule........but just a thought.........

With your T, I get where you're coming from, afterall she can't change anything, right?!
But it could still help to explore your feelings a bit with her, and maybe there are some repressed/difficult feelings in there, and she could maybe support you with those and your perspectives/outlooks on what's going on.........so I'd say give it a go anyway.........it sounds like you're in a real tough place right now, so anything that could even potentially help, hey?

And you say you don't have work stress from not working.........well in some ways I can imagine that might be even harder on you, right?! Afterall some people dealing with similar things might find work a little of a welcome motivator and/or distraction..........but without it........
So do you think you could schedule some (real easy to achieve!!) things into your day...........just some things to try and focus on??

As for showering though.........if you can't, you can't!!
But maybe you could find a way to have 1/2 a shower, or just wash, or just wash your hair..........I'm thinking small steps and small achievements here, where things are so hard for you..........but just whatever you can do, and if possible just a tiny bit more.........
And if you can do any self-care, I know that very little is probably going to feel that good to you right now, but if there is some way/s you can "be good to yourself" or treat yourself??

But glamslam, try not to let yourself be isolated, hey?
Even if that's "just" talking on here, or even "just" hanging on here with us.........
And just a thought.........but........are there any forums anywhere for people/friends/family with the condition your family member has?? Maybe check that out?? Perhaps it could be a help??

But, yes, we're here for you glamslam, and sending you my very best wishes

Alison

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. You're not alone. You will find a lot of support. I hope your therapist is able to help. Have you told the pdoc the situation? I don't have much advice. Just wanted you to know I'm here for you. Hugs coming your way.