[Thestral578]

It's 2:30 am right now and I've been up since 1. My 16 month old wakes up and won't go back to sleep without being held. There was a time when it wouldn't take too long, but now he wakes back up when I put him in the crib so it takes about 3 times on average before he actually stays asleep. I get so frustrated that I get mad at him, then I always end up feeling like a jerk who doesn't care about her main reason for existing. I hate myself when I get frustrated, but it's every night and I'm sick of not getting enough sleep. I'm tired physically and I'm tired of feeling worthless and helpless. Anyone felt like this beforewith your kids? How did you deal with it?

[MenA]

Yes hi there I'm a mom with a now two and a half year old daughter. I suffered really bad with post pardum depression. You said you have a 16 month old is that correct? Have you done any sort of sleep training? He should be able to self soothe by now. Sleep training is so hard listening to them cry but after a few nights it gets so much better. Is there anyone to help you and maybe take turns in shifts so that you can get some sleep? Have you talked to your doctor about PPD? Sometimes symptoms don't show up until a year later. Don't feel like a jerk it's normal to be frustrated. But my anger was a clear sign of my PPD. I'm on medications now and I feel so much better. Read up on sleep training techniques as he is old enough to do it as they need to learn healthy sleep habits and learn to sleep on their own. Feel free to message me if you ever need to talk. Sending hugs your way. It does get better!

Being a mom is tough work. It is human to feel frustrated when you are tired. I do not think that this is the perfect answer or that their is one "right" way to handle a child's bedtime but if my children couldn't sleep I just went ahead and held them. My mother told me she did the opposite (kept putting me in the crib, wanted me to learn to fall asleep on my own). I had a lazy boy recliner and could put pillows on the sides so that I knew they wouldn't fall out and the recliner didn't allow me to "squish" my child while they slept. So I slept more in that recliner than in my bed when they were very young. I suppose my philosophy was just to respond and comfort the child when they asked. At least I felt no frustration. I enjoyed having them in my arms. I suppose I was lucky, once they turned about 1.5 years old--they mostly slept for long enough at night, they slept longer than I did -- I would read to them and lay next to them till they fell asleep (I did not sleep there). Around that time, instead of a crib we used a Japanese style futon in their bedroom (floor level). Perhaps I did it all wrong but they rarely cried and always seemed happy. I have always assumed that when a child cries it is because they need something. It's not something I read, just what I felt in my heart. Again, I am not saying that my method was "right" just sharing my experience. My children are now in their 20s....

[MickeyCheeky]

Being a mom is the toughest job in the world.. kudos to all the moms here who are also struggling with MI, you are all super strong

[MenA]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

Being a mom is the toughest job in the world.. kudos to all the moms here who are also struggling with MI, you are all super strong

Thank you! Yes motherhood is the hardest thing ever especially when you throw in working full time, trying to maintain a marriage on top of dealing with PPD and other MI issues.

[Crook32]

I heard of this trick to help babies go back to sleep. Mine are 8 and 6 now so I never tried it with them. The gist of it is to put something like beans in a glove. Warm it up and place it on the babies back in the crib. Now I don't know if it would work for a 16 month old but maybe google it and see what people say about it.

[Leyla]

i don't think there is one right way to put a baby to sleep. with my daughter i did cry it out around that age and i felt so guilty but there were times when i would rock her in a reclincer and once she was asleep put her in the crib. with my son i he ended up sleeping with me alot, he is almost 10 and i still have to get him to sleep in his own room. LOL

it does get better, and yes having MI, working full-time and raising kids is really tough, i just tell myself ONE DAY AT TIME.... because that is really all we truly have.

[BlueMerleGirl]

I have a toddler about the same age as yours and she's never slept great. I know it can be a struggle. Sometimes I feel like I look forward to her going to bed so I can have time for myself (until she wakes up which she usually does before I go to bed). But when I put her down I end up missing her shortly there after and not knowing what to do with myself.

For me one or the challenging things about being a parent is just having to schedule everything and do things at the proper times. I've always been kind of a "go with the flow" person, which in some ways is good when you have a toddler but in other ways it makes things harder. Like only being able to do certain things while she is asleep or if we get a babysitter.

Do you have any help in the form of a husband or boyfriend? Or are you a single mom?

[Thestral578]

Hi everyone,
Thank you for the responses!
My husband is almost always around and can be very helpful, I just rarely ask for help. I know that's my own fault. It's hard for me to do because my son cries when I leave the room and I feel bad that I'm leaving him. I'm hoping that if I do start asking my husband to help with getting him back to sleep though it would help me get more sleep.
We tried letting him cry himself back to sleep and he is wicked capable of keeping himself awake. I wish I had those talents when I'm driving and tired. He will stay up for hours in the middle of the night until I go back in to get him back to sleep. While he does that I can't ever fall back to sleep since I hear any little noise he makes, so his crying keeps me up.
Since the beginning I've held him to get him to go to sleep (or whoever was watching him holds him). Now he expects it. I do like responding to him when he cries for help, I know he should be able to fall back to sleep on his own, but I like that I can make him feel better when he wants me. I know that won't last forever. I'm the same with missing him when I do finally put him in the crib too BlueMerleGirl! Sometimes I end up just looking at him on the monitor.
I never heard about the heated beans thing, but I actually have a little monkey that can be warmed up and cuddled for stomachaches and cramps and stuff like that. I wonder if he would like that. I might have to give that a try and see if it helps. Thanks Crook32 for the idea!

Thank you for all of your responses. It's nice to have the feedback and support! Go moms!

[LabrythineHeart]

Originally Posted by Thestral578

It's 2:30 am right now and I've been up since 1. My 16 month old wakes up and won't go back to sleep without being held. There was a time when it wouldn't take too long, but now he wakes back up when I put him in the crib so it takes about 3 times on average before he actually stays asleep. I get so frustrated that I get mad at him, then I always end up feeling like a jerk who doesn't care about her main reason for existing. I hate myself when I get frustrated, but it's every night and I'm sick of not getting enough sleep. I'm tired physically and I'm tired of feeling worthless and helpless. Anyone felt like this beforewith your kids? How did you deal with it?

I struggled to get my son to sleep through the night for a whole and have recently succeeded. For the last week, he's slept in his own room by himself. I started with naps. At first he cried and cried and I would sit in the room with him and talk to him calmly but not let him out. He kept crying after that. One day I left to make him a bottle and when I came back he was laying down, silent. Since then, all I have to do is put him in bed and close the door and within a couple minutes he settles down. I also give him his blanket, which comforts him a lot. As for the getting mad, if he won't stop crying I put him in his crib for a minute and just take a second to breathe by myself so I can be patient with my son again. I didn't think I'd ever be able to sleep uninterrupted until very recently so I hope this encourages you