Betrayed and backstabbed

I was dateing this guy who is 42 about 3 months out of a divorce and everything was going great . A couple months in he would always say it was just dateing it would mess with my head . I'm on the austic side and never dated anyone . He would then turn around say how he wanted to hold me kiss me ect then . A couple weeks ago he was added to a chat group I was in it felt like he was ignoring me . His ex wife came back into the picture and he became distant so it brought on a panic attack and I went to the ER . It felt as if no one cared so I left the chat group and started unfriending people. I realized that was a rash choice and apologized but my friend who I confided in told the​ guy I was dateing evething and he went off on me .The next day he said he slept with his ex wife and since then all I've done is cry , I don't sleep more than a couple hours at best in fear of dreaming about him and I keep thinking about what could have been. I'm in hell and having a hard time moving past this. I'm considering therpy but with no insurance it's not easy to do. I'm just needing some support right now and advice.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. You're not alone and you'll find lots of support on this forum. I encourage you to find a therapist who will work with your budget so you can process these feelings and get some relief. I'm sorry you're hurting so badly. Your ex acted in a less than honorable manner and I'm sorry you were hurt. Thinking of you....

I'm sorry for what you are going through.
At a time such as this sleep is critical. It's not a direct way of dealing with the issues, but if you can find ways of getting decent sleep and rest it will assist in creating a psychic environment more conducive to healing.

Thanks everyone. It's hard to get any sleep as I live with a controlling sister who won't let anyone sleep and her screaming baby. I called one place hoping to get some kind of therapy and have not heard back yet.