[MatBell]

Something just triggered me now, and felt I had to come out with my thoughts. I just saw my neighbour - who I don't have anything to do with or even met actually - being pregnant. She's around my age. It's not that I necessarily want a child right now, just the idea that everyone else is moving on with their lives and I'm not at all. It hurts, and it just brought me down all of a sudden. I think I've always felt that I'm behind people my own age in most ways and it hurts. I know the grass isn't always greener and I shouldn't compare myself with others I don't even know. I hope I get past this quickly - now I just want to hide away (once again).

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you feel down. I get triggered in this fashion sometimes as well. It's painful. I hope you feel better soon. Just wanted to lend my support and let you know you're not alone.

[MatBell]

Thanks Jennifer.

I don't know what your age is. I am pretty up there in age myself (though I find it hard to believe!). And I feel like I have not accomplished as much as other people may age have or younger. Just the other day I was just getting water in the break room at work. Three fairly young guys talked together about their significant others. At this stage in my life I have not done much and probably never will. It was surprising to me with some of the guys actually having s/o in their lives.

However I have met lots of couples around my age. So many of them are miserable. And there are so many guys around my age I've met who have been divorced. And a few that I know of never got married and didn't have much success with women. So maybe I'm not as bad off as I think I am. But it does get challenging to go out and about and see couples with kids for me.

Also I feel that way about my career life. I do agree that it's bad to compare yourself to others. And I know that I can be guilty of that. You might be amazed that the other people may feel that they would rather be in your shoes.

[subtle lights]

Sorry you are down, I'm getting the same (or similar) feelings very often when I see people around me, these kind of "active" people. I know, comparing is not good, but sometimes we get triggered and reminded of things we feel we missed or avoided doing. But then again, every time when I decided to do or not do something was based on who I was then. Couldn't have been/ done differently.

I feel the same way every time I go out or open social media by seeing my peers living while I am not. So depressing, which makes me fall further behind.

[MatBell]

Originally Posted by subtle lights

Sorry you are down, I'm getting the same (or similar) feelings very often when I see people around me, these kind of "active" people. I know, comparing is not good, but sometimes we get triggered and reminded of things we feel we missed or avoided doing. But then again, every time when I decided to do or not do something was based on who I was then. Couldn't have been/ done differently.

Yes I also think that the person I was couldn't have done differently. I've been thinking a lot about that actually. I also try to think that I have my story that has made me what I am now. I shouldn't compare myself to others because of our different backstories.

[MatBell]

Originally Posted by will19

I don't know what your age is. I am pretty up there in age myself (though I find it hard to believe!). And I feel like I have not accomplished as much as other people may age have or younger. Just the other day I was just getting water in the break room at work. Three fairly young guys talked together about their significant others. At this stage in my life I have not done much and probably never will. It was surprising to me with some of the guys actually having s/o in their lives.


However I have met lots of couples around my age. So many of them are miserable. And there are so many guys around my age I've met who have been divorced. And a few that I know of never got married and didn't have much success with women. So maybe I'm not as bad off as I think I am. But it does get challenging to go out and about and see couples with kids for me.


Also I feel that way about my career life. I do agree that it's bad to compare yourself to others. And I know that I can be guilty of that. You might be amazed that the other people may feel that they would rather be in your shoes.

Yes we never know what others are thinking and going through in their lives. I know I've been surprised many times before about how I assumed some things about people that weren't true at all

Every choice taken has its side effects. Growing children is costly and a commitment for a major time of your life.
I'm saying this very objectively, as I myself am also concerned about the idea of having children one day.

[Marla500]

I feel this way too. In my case chronic depression has held me back. All we can do is take care of ourselves and move at our own rate.