[DelusionsDaily]

Sorry just need to vent. I'm so, so, so, so, so tired!

Possible trigger:

Is there really a point to this life? Why do I have to wake up every day...day after day?

It's all just too much.

[Skeezyks]

Hello DelusionsDaily: I'm sorry you are feeling so deflated. Hopefully I won't be adding to your despair. But from my perspective, there is absolutely no point to life beyond whatever each one of us makes of our individual lives while we're alive... (which I would have to admit, in my case, isn't much.) However, again from my perspective, there is a certain comfort & satisfaction in developing a realization that, in the end, it's all just empty. I wish you well...

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

Sorry just need to vent. I'm so, so, so, so, so tired!

Possible trigger:

Is there really a point to this life? Why do I have to wake up every day...day after day?

It's all just too much.

Amen. Couldn't have said it better.

Beyond maybe pro-creating and catching a sunset or two, both of which I've done, what is the F-ing point? There isn't one. So why can't i go? My body, my choice. Right?

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

Hello DelusionsDaily: I'm sorry you are feeling so deflated. Hopefully I won't be adding to your despair. But from my perspective, there is absolutely no point to life beyond whatever each one of us makes of our individual lives while we're alive... (which I would have to admit, in my case, isn't much.) However, again from my perspective, there is a certain comfort & satisfaction in developing a realization that, in the end, it's all just empty. I wish you well...

Quite the opposite of adding to my despair. While I don't wish this on anyone...at the same time I'm glad I'm not alone. It does suck though.

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by always_why

Amen. Couldn't have said it better.

Beyond maybe pro-creating and catching a sunset or two, both of which I've done, what is the F-ing point? There isn't one. So why can't i go? My body, my choice. Right?

Unfortunately, as much as I often feel that way, after watching a few families and friends go through losing someone to suicide over the years I can't bring myself to put my family and friends through that. Probably not a hard and fast rule, but for now, the agony continues.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. You truly aren't alone. I have SI more days than not and sometimes the urge is very, very strong under a crushing weight of severe depression. I still believe there is a reason, a purpose, a why...it just might be eclipsed right now due to your depression.

Are you seeing a therapist? Do you possibly need to review your meds with your pdoc? Thinking of you....

[DelusionsDaily]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Are you seeing a therapist? Do you possibly need to review your meds with your pdoc? Thinking of you....

I do see a therapist...every other month just saw her earlier this month. No pdoc...tried meds for 6 1/2 years and nothing with enough success to justify staying on/continuing to try them.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

I do see a therapist...every other month just saw her earlier this month. No pdoc...tried meds for 6 1/2 years and nothing with enough success to justify staying on/continuing to try them.

What do you think about seeing your therapist more often just while you're going through this? I see mine 3 Saturdays of the month when I'm having a rough time.

[DelusionsDaily]

I would but can't really afford it. Truth is there's not much she can do either even if I could see her more often.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by DelusionsDaily

I would but can't really afford it. Truth is there's not much she can do either even if I could see her more often.

I understand. I hope you start feeling better soon. As hellish as it's been for me, I still believe there is a why and that one day you will to.

[subtle lights]

Having the realisation that life is empty and pointless is not helping me either so I can understand. I've noticed that it works for some but I used to be an idealist, and now all my ideals are gone.
Sorry that you're going through this as well

[DelusionsDaily]

Possible trigger:

While I would love for my life to end, I have some things I want to overcome first.

Don't know why and don't know how long it will take. So, I force myself to be quite ambivalent about life for now. I have very very few, brief, fleeting moments of okay-ness with life and were it not for those continuing on would be 1000X's harder. Sorry anyone else ever has/will have to feel like this.