Why?

Sorry just need to vent. I'm so, so, so, so, so tired! It's all just too much.

Hello DelusionsDaily: I'm sorry you are feeling so deflated. Hopefully I won't be adding to your despair. But from my perspective, there is absolutely no point to life beyond whatever each one of us makes of our individual lives while we're alive... (which I would have to admit, in my case, isn't much.) However, again from my perspective, there is a certain comfort & satisfaction in developing a realization that, in the end, it's all just empty. I wish you well...

Amen. Couldn't have said it better.

Beyond maybe pro-creating and catching a sunset or two, both of which I've done, what is the F-ing point? There isn't one. So why can't i go? My body, my choice. Right?

Quite the opposite of adding to my despair. While I don't wish this on anyone...at the same time I'm glad I'm not alone. It does suck though.

Unfortunately, as much as I often feel that way, after watching a few families and friends go through losing someone to suicide over the years I can't bring myself to put my family and friends through that. Probably not a hard and fast rule, but for now, the agony continues.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. You truly aren't alone. I have SI more days than not and sometimes the urge is very, very strong under a crushing weight of severe depression. I still believe there is a reason, a purpose, a why...it just might be eclipsed right now due to your depression.

Are you seeing a therapist? Do you possibly need to review your meds with your pdoc? Thinking of you....

I do see a therapist...every other month just saw her earlier this month. No pdoc...tried meds for 6 1/2 years and nothing with enough success to justify staying on/continuing to try them.

What do you think about seeing your therapist more often just while you're going through this? I see mine 3 Saturdays of the month when I'm having a rough time.

I would but can't really afford it. Truth is there's not much she can do either even if I could see her more often.

I understand. I hope you start feeling better soon. As hellish as it's been for me, I still believe there is a why and that one day you will to.

Having the realisation that life is empty and pointless is not helping me either so I can understand. I've noticed that it works for some but I used to be an idealist, and now all my ideals are gone.
Sorry that you're going through this as well

Don't know why and don't know how long it will take. So, I force myself to be quite ambivalent about life for now. I have very very few, brief, fleeting moments of okay-ness with life and were it not for those continuing on would be 1000X's harder. Sorry anyone else ever has/will have to feel like this.