[MatBell]

I feel paralyzed - just in my bed now crying. The pain is just too much right now. I feel like I'm a danger to myself. Keep thinking about taking a belt around my neck. I can't keep going like this, I just want it to stop. I wish I had someone who really cared for me, and loved me for who I am. Right now I just don't know what to do. My heart is beating faster than usual, I have some anxiety because of my suicidal thoughts, and also from looking into the future. It will never end. I wish I could talk directly to some of you.

[skysblue]

I know the feeling. Just know that you're not alone here. Talk to us some more. What else are you feeling?

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by MatBell

I feel paralyzed - just in my bed now crying. The pain is just too much right now. I feel like I'm a danger to myself. Keep thinking about taking a belt around my neck. I can't keep going like this, I just want it to stop. I wish I had someone who really cared for me, and loved me for who I am. Right now I just don't know what to do. My heart is beating faster than usual, I have some anxiety because of my suicidal thoughts, and also from looking into the future. It will never end. I wish I could talk directly to some of you.

While this site is not set up for that, there are some that are.

This is one in which you can speak directly to crisis counselors without threat of having police or etc showing up unless they have reason to believe you have a weapon in hand or already caused physical harm to yourself.

CrisisChat - Home

They may ask for info such as phone number in case of loss of connection n zip code for basic information gathering purposes (statistics n etc), your first name (so they know what to address you as) but you are not required to give as any of the info n can give a fictious name.

I hope that helps.

[MatBell]

Originally Posted by skysblue

I know the feeling. Just know that you're not alone here. Talk to us some more. What else are you feeling?

I just know that I have to do it. A bit scared about the paink. I can't take being alive

[Ceara1010]

I'm so sorry with what you are going through.

There's a depression and anxiety support chat tonight 8pm central time. You could talk directly with people there. (I'll be there)

--Ceara

[Sunflower123]

Please contact the CrisisChat line that Crypts of the Mind mentioned. You need support right now. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I know you've been struggling. There is always hope. Hang on to something...even tiny to carry you into tomorrow. Thinking of you.

[MatBell]

Feeling a bit better, even though nothing has changed really. Thanks for your support

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by MatBell

Feeling a bit better, even though nothing has changed really. Thanks for your support

Did you contact CrisisChat?

[Fuzzybear]

[Sunflower123]

Are you feeling any better?

[MatBell]

Just got a text from my dad saying "we need to talk". Now I'm nervous. I know it's because of how I act and isolate. I've always been a bit intimidated by him, and I'm scared he will get angry. I'm 30 and I still feel like this. He doesn't have a lot of insight into how to deal with people who struggle. I think he thinks the tough way will make me 'snap out of it', instead of showing real concern and compassion. Which is what I need. Now I'm just waiting till tonight when he calls - and I'm really nervous.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Just be totally honest with him. Tell him you are on the verge of suicide. Don't beat around the bush. That tends to take the wind out of the sails of the tough guy routine. Talk to him like a son. Not like someone who needs to be perfect. Just like the person you are.

[MickeyCheeky]

I know that feeling of intimidation.. I'm sorry.

[Mackie51]

I've noticed that heroes in movies often do nothing more than survive the hardest difficulties. You're going through a really difficult time. And you're surviving it. I think that makes you a hero (or heroine). Sometimes you're at your bravest when you're feeling the least brave.