There's nothing wrong with me. I have experienced no true traumas. This pain is unwarranted. I am mocking others with true misery. I had every opportunity and my failures are my fault.


I was reasonably productive today. I did groceries, made a step forward in my schoolwork, and got ice cream with a friend. Why do I feel so guilty? The more I talk the more I need to shut up. I don't like to listen to myself because its proof of my disgusting personality. I really, really want to self harm right now. That's ugly of me, but I guess I'm an ugly person.

I wish I didn't exist.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I hope you'll give yourself credit for the things you are doing right. I hope you start feeling better about yourself soon. You're not disgusting. That's a distortion and isn't true. Best wishes.

[Skeezyks]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down on yourself. (I feel pretty-much the same about myself.) But I'm glad you were able to do groceries, take a step forward in your schoolwork, & get out for ice cream!

You Know... the "experts" tell us that depression is an illness, not a "character flaw". Assuming that is really the case, one doesn't have to have some specific trauma event one can point to in order to justify their illness. Yes, there certainly are individuals who have endured terrible trauma in their lives. And one can certainly understand how they would be in pain. But that doesn't negate your own. I wish you well...

[Unrigged64072835]

Your pain is valid. It doesn't need to be compared to someone else's. You hurt and you need help.

Well, I don't even have depression. I have been forced into therapy, and I'm ****ed up because my parents called cps on me so I don't know what the **** happened, like I'm probably abusing my parents, or they are masters of manipulation, or they were genuinely worried, but they were so harsh with me and I felt/feel like a prisoner/visitor in their home?

I have never been diagnosed. Diagnoses are not the most exact science, I know, but I'm just so messed up about this. I can diagnose myself. But it's like I'm therapy resistant. I don't want the jail of a diagnosis, but ffs, what's wrong with me?

so I'm nothing, I'm just brooding and haven't grown out of my teenage angst. Maybe I haven't diagnosed myself because then all those institutions that reported me would be right. I'm too stubborn.