[finestitcher]

Everyday I feel invaluable to the world. I contribute nothing. I don't see what value I have to give to anyone. Why do I bother to even get out of bed each morning. Life is so hard to live. It is lonely, hurtful, stressful, painful, etc. It is filled with pills and more pills every day. I am tired of taking pills every three hours too.

The phone doesn't ring except for a bill collector for someone who had my phone number long before I obtained it...two years ago. I've told them that person doesn't here and that I have had the phone number for almost two years...go away. Email is only about work...I rarely read the items that are sent to me.

Why do we bother with life? What does it offer that is good and wonderful...nothing! I provide no value to anyone. Depression and lonliness are all I have most days.

[Mouse_]

We have to find our own goodness inside of us before we can see our goodness in the world. Its there, you just have to learn how to see it.

[Perna]

Remember what your signature says about "instinct" -- keep looking inside for that and it will help lead you out of the depression.

I know what you mean about the wrong number thing; we have the same only they're charities wanting to "come by" and pick up old clothes, and tradespeople wanting to do work on our house; it gets confusing telling them "you have the right phone number but the wrong name and wrong address" :-) Some don't even check that, just keep right on talking. And we don't seem to have just one wrong person who had this phone but someone always asking for "William" and then the majority of people asking for those other people. And the salespeople don't care what your name is, they just start in with, "well that's okay, maybe you'd be interested in. . ." We moved here in 2005.

Get out of your house a bit more. Go to the grocery store and fine 1 item in the whole store, just for you :-) I use to play that game and it was fun seeing what I could find that I'd never known existed. Talk to the clerk on the way out too. I found that as long as I literally talked to any other human being during the day (librarians are good too :-) that I did better than when I went day after day just going to work and going home and holing up in my apartment all weekend, etc. Often I'd walk (if I could) to the closest convenience store (Wawa) and would do it often enough so the clerk would recognize me. I'd make up all sorts of "games" to play; often we'd have a Boy Scout or other canned food drive so I'd walk down there each day for 4-5 days and get 1 can at a time to give away. Another time when I wanted to lose weight I bought a "box full" of canned items, one at a time and added up their total "weight" (15 oz. can + 8 oz. can, etc.) and mailed them to a food bank and decided that would be the amount of weight I'd lose that week or whatever :-) But I invent my own "charities" and also have worked with Volunteer Match and their virtual charaties (you don't have to go anywhere, just you and your computer):

http://www.volunteermatch.org/opportunities/virtual.jsp

But occasionally touching base with other people instead of isolating helps me most.

[kebsfroggy]

You are a value to you.

Maybe taking Perna's suggestions will help.

I'm sorry the feelings of worthlessness have invaded your space. They bring pain, sorrow and loniness with them as companions. I know for I live there too.

I wish I had answers. I would gladly share them with you and everyone like us. It won't help but may comfort to know there are others also struggling.

My heart go out to you

[finestitcher]

Thanks to all of you for the replies. Perna, you have great idea, thank you for sharing them.

[Fuzzybear]

The Wise Frog is correct!

(((((((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))