[Zenobia]

Funny how stealthy depression is as it slips its way into me, unhooking, one by one, the moorings that hold my in this life. It is so sneaking, taking its time undoing the work I have done bit by bit. It gets into the brain and disconnects from my memory the things I KNOW I need to do to be happy. It slowly isolates me, drawing me away from those whom I have been close to. It shuts down my voice and my mind making me silent and numb, unable to speak my feelings and unaware that I have feelings that need to be spoken. I plod through my days feeling the change but not quite sure what that change is. The lack of knowlege making it impossible for me to seek the help I need as depression sneeks its way closer and deeper and pitches it tent and sets up its BBQ and prepares itself for summer. Summer is a time to loneliness and isolation. I continue to allow this childhood reality to be perpetuated in an adult falicy.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft

[Peanut61]

((((((((((((((((Carrie))))))))))))))...

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Carrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I've been missing you and thinking a lot about you. I'm so glad you checked in.

So... now that you're aware what depression is doing to you, what are you going to do about it?

When you were a child, there wasn't much you could do about your loneliness and isolation but you're an adult now and can take control of the situation.

What can I help you with? What area do you need motivation in the most? I'll do whatever I can to help you out of this present darkness.

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<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[Zenobia]

That is such a good question: What AM I going to do about it? I want to curl up in a ball and hide whenever people are around. I can't stand their noise, I can't stand them talking to me. Then when I am home and alone I feel so awful and all I want is to be away from here with people. I just can't be happy either way you put it. So what do I do?
Zen

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft