[mollysmom79]

I am a 38 year old divorced woman with a 18 year son. On paper I am functional, I have a home, car, and job. I am posting here because i am hoping someone has been where i am and can tell me whats wrong with me. I have been to several therapists told i have depression and GAD, given prozac and sent on my way.
I believe i have more that.

I feel nothing- emotionally or physically
I have virtually no memories. Today, last year, 10 years ago nothing. tiny snipits basically recalling from pictures

I say things and then dont remember, worse at night

Time moves slowly most of the time for me

I like to be alone. I socialize very infrequently. I find everything boring and senseless

I am ONLY happy when having passionate sex with my partner ( i dont want to sleep around)

nothing makes any sense to me. Why people leave their loved ones all day to go to job where you spend all day with coworkers to then go home to spend a very limited time with the people you love? I feel like everything is backwards how do you spend all day away from your loved one and not think of them?

Please help me. Ive googled every disorder and i cant figure me out

thank you

[Sunflower123]

Hello. I see this is your first post so welcome to PC. I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. You mentioned you'd been to many therapists. Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist? It seems to me that a psychiatrist could pin down a proper diagnosis. Somebody on this board may have a better idea of what's going on then me but I wanted to welcome you.

Hello mollysmom79, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.

I agree with Jennifer that a psychiatric evaluation might give you some answers. On the other hand, trying to find a label for every issue can be maddening and sometimes it is enough to work on the symptoms first, and worry about the labels later. I would also recommend getting some blood work done to make sure things are OK physically, as some mental health problems can be caused by physical issues.

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]

I agree with the others. If you haven't already, going to a psychiatrist might be the best option

[mountainstream]

[Tyrant616]

I think you are depressed, but I think you are also going through some existential realizations about life. The fact that we waste all time at a job, often doing things that are unfulfilling, just to pay bills, do laundry and other menial tasks. We miss out on the things we love in life and the people we love just so that we can 'keep going' and pay the bills.

I feel your pain, I really do. The thing that helped me the most honestly, is giving myself time everyday to reflect. I listen to a lot of audio books on youtube and that has allowed me to 'be in the now' a bit.

[mollysmom79]

Thank you very much for the welcome! I apologize for using the wrong term. I have seen 3 psychiatrists before ( over 17 years) but I never feel like they understood me. I was hoping someone here had felt like this before.

thank you