Being "normal"

I feel like I have forgotten what life is like living without a mental illness. The thought that most people out there are living "normal" lives is baffling to me, going through life without constant debilitating anxious, depressive, or suicidal thoughts. I just can't help but think we've been dealt such a bad hand and people who don't have to struggle with these extra disadvantages are so incredibly lucky. Life is hard enough without an invisible handicap weighing you down that society won't acknowledge when going to school or getting a job.

It makes it hard to be hopeful.

You are right. I look at one of my siblings who has a "normal" life and curse my illness for not allowing me the same. The best thing is to focus on what you are grateful for in your life and to make the most of the hand you've been dealt. Sending big hugs.

I have been thinking the same thing lately.

It seems to me that the people who look "normal" (in reality we don't really know what goes through their heads 24/7, really) seem to have a high level of confidence and self-esteem, therefore, they are able to use their mental energy more efficiently and in a more positive way so they can set goals and reach them effortlessly as if they were using a magic wand.

As much as I don't want to complain, a lot of the "normal" people I know have or had very supportive parents!

I look at their medical conditions of the people with normal lives and I wouldn't want those either.

That's a good point. It certainly helps to give those folks better tools to cope with stressful situations/problems etc.

Unfortunately, sometimes, parents have good intentions but they don't realize that they screw up big time like in the case of my father.

Yeah exactly, I'm not saying "normal" people don't have problems or their own struggles but I think that self-esteem and confidence helps, as well as proper social support.

I have had the same exact thoughts recently, but was having a hard time actually putting words to them. The worst part is being on social media, and seeing photos of old friends doing... well, anything. Just getting together with other friends, going out to a bar, restaurant, concert, etc., while I sit here in my apartment, most days unable to just make it out the door.

I, too, sometimes envy those whose lives seem easier or more success-filled than mine. One of the things that helps me is to recognize that I have knowledge and experience that they never will. Because of that, I can help people who have struggles that are similar to mine. I feel lucky to be able to connect with others in a meaningful way.

Would I have chosen mental illness? No. But since I have it, I appreciate opportunities to give and receive support.

That's such a beautiful way of putting it, it's how I try to live my life but it's hard to keep it up sometimes.

I know how you feel. Nobody around me really seems to get it - the difficulty I face every day to get things done they don't struggle with at all. It amazes me how easily people do certain things. It's tough for me not to feel inferior to them at times.

Offering hugs

aww don't worry everything will be alright. I know it is hard but things will get better.

I had the same problem with social media and guess what I did? A while ago I deleted my Facebook etc... accounts . Since then I have been trying to live more in the real present, as opposed to the one projected onto the social media, and connect with people face to face even if they are strangers and the interactions are brief. Even just smiling at people while walking on a street can make a difference, something that I find very hard to do so I have to push myself to do it most of the time.

If it's too hard for you to quit the social media altogether, perhaps you may consider to reduce the amount of time that you spend looking at them and try to do things that you like to do outdoors, or volunteer for a charity that is meaningful to you. Some people find some relief from loneliness by going to churches. I have just joined a Buddhist Zen center because I am interested in meditation.