[DancingRose76]

Hello

I've just joined this forum today! I found it thru Google.

I turned 40 last year. I have been married and divorced, and had common-law relationships in the past, but I am very single and very lonely, and battling depression at this time in my life...and have been for about 4 years now. Loneliness, an extended unemployment (not by choice), and having "friends" disappear from my life when I needed them most.

I currently have no pets, no children, and 2 great girlfriends - one of whom works out of town most of the time (and she likes to stay home and hang out with her neighbours, so she is not like me in how I like to explore and get out), and the other whom lives back in Ireland. So, I have no one locally to hang out with, to explore the area, go for hikes, coffees, dinners, etc...and I used to go out all the time and do that kind of stuff and more. This kills me.

Last week, I've just started a new job, but it is temporary and I have no idea at this time when it will come to an end. Hopefully I will find that out this week. Weekends are quiet and painful, looking for things to do on the internet and finding tonnes of things I want to do but having no one to do them with. And yes - I have tried doing things on my own for these past few years, but I find it does not bring me joy, and in fact makes me even more depressed and I just want to go home and hide. When I do get myself out of the house, all I see are couples and families, and it hurts my heart more than I can express because that used to be me for two decades - I was hardly ever single, until the recent few years. And for the recent few years, every man I've dated has been the wrong man. I haven't fallen in love with a man for years now.

I have never had a weight problem, and have always been very healthy generally and attractive, but I know that I have walls up. Those walls that won't let others in very easily. I have been in counselling and am learning about me, learning about how to let those walls down in order to get to know others and allow them to get to know me. I am trying Meetup.Com, but I am sometimes shy and I am naturally introverted so I sometimes find it difficult to RSVP to a Meetup with 65 people attending, I prefer small gatherings. Everyone has to find what they are comfortable with.

I just wanted to put that out there and vent a little - thank you! I want others to know that if you identify with anything I've written here, you are not alone! I just joined this forum today and I hope that I can be a source of support, resources, or an ear for anyone that is in a similar situation. Let's take it day by day ... look forward to what today will bring!

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to pc DancingRose76
(I like your name )

[feeshee]

Welcome Dancing Rose. I so understand your lonely feelings. Keep coming back.

Hello DancingRose76, welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit. Once you have 5 approved posts, you will be able to enter the chat room and talk to fellow members. There is almost always someone online to chat with.