[Yksik]

Does it still count?

... I always thought depression is something people have as a default brain setting due to chemistry, not because external circumstances...

I just scored 52 on the depression test and won't take that as Life Truth and focus on it - but I answered truthfully and the heaviness stems from a decade long situation I cannot change ... does it still matter?
I am, in general an easygoing person, I'm on the quiet side with bursts of extrovert moments in comfortable social settings, I feel happy and blessed in so many ways and am, in general, happy with many things - but the unchangeable issues make me feel like a failure and so singled out and I have never been able to fit in, since I started remembering myself (but that's cause I was always the chubbiest in my class and didn't have money for anything) ... so, I never thought I would actually have depression - I enjoy so many things and am happy about things, just the overlooming issues weigh me down (and I'm also afraid of everything from social settings to hights).
Maybe I should look into some self-help stuff?
I don't even know if I fit here ...

[MickeyCheeky]

There are many causes for depression, you don't have to be "just born" with it. You may not even have depression and just having a stressful situation. Whathever it is, your problems still matter.

[Yksik]

Thank you, MC!
It really might be circumstantial, just carrying on for too many years. I do try to make the best of my "it is what it is" life.

[IrisBloom]

The simple answer is: Over time your brain paths develop patterns.

This is why childhood trauma manifests as MI (mental illness) in some people. Circumstances may change, but it takes time and help to change your brain.

[Sunflower123]

I relate completely. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I was in a toxic job for 6 years while everything else was good in my life and it did a real number on me. Sending big hugs.

[Fuzzybear]

[baboo5]

I like to call this "situational depression". I think I have it. Deep down inside I am not depressed but things around me really bring me down. Nine hours a day I listen to *****ing and whining at work, I had a toxic living situation (took care of that), relatives give me the silent treatment, etc.

Now that I have evening and weekends to myself, things have improved. I dread the work day listening to Debbie Downer. We are a small office so I cannot escape that unless I quit my job.

Are you able to change your life circumstances?

[PsychohcysP]

It's all due to stress. My pdoc told me once, stress changes and damaged the chemistry of the brain. Brain chemistry does change, it's not always the same. One takes antidepressants to treat it, "restore" it to the normal level. Serotonin and all that stuff.