[MtnTime2896]

I couldn't do it. Again, I couldn't do it.

It keeps coming down to this one fact. I love my fiance. I always knew, even before we became a couple, that I'm willing to die for him. It wasn't until last year that I realized dying for him would be too easy. It wasn't until last year that I promised I'd live for him. Living for someone is infinitely more difficult. At least in my experience.

I lose sight of this promise. I forget it and begin the process of ending everything. When I'm set up and about to go through with it, I can't stop thinking, "I haven't held him enough" and "He still doesn't know how much I love him." So, I'm alive. In agony. But it's okay because it's for him.

[Aardwolf]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

I couldn't do it. Again, I couldn't do it.

It keeps coming down to this one fact. I love my fiance. I always knew, even before we became a couple, that I'm willing to die for him. It wasn't until last year that I realized dying for him would be too easy. It wasn't until last year that I promised I'd live for him. Living for someone is infinitely more difficult. At least in my experience.

I lose sight of this promise. I forget it and begin the process of ending everything. When I'm set up and about to go through with it, I can't stop thinking, "I haven't held him enough" and "He still doesn't know how much I love him." So, I'm alive. In agony. But it's okay because it's for him.

I for one, am glad you still have that reason to hold on for, and it causes you to stop.

I am sure he supports you a lot, and i'm sure he knows these things

(((((((hugs)))))))

I think the fear comes from.. what if I die without telling him something?

I was always taught to treat every day like your last. if you want to say something to someone, say it before it is too late.

I've made that mistake of not doing so and it isn't nice to live with afterwards

hugs again

[MickeyCheeky]

I think it's beautiful you love him so much.. but please keep in mind that you have to do it for yourself as well, because you deserve a better life than the one you're getting.

[Sunflower123]

Hold on to that promise and that purpose. I did the same for my daughter and I'm still here because of it. I'm glad you are too.

[Bill3]

I am really glad that you are still here.

[Fuzzybear]

"I'm alive.. in agony"

I can relate. I'm in agony too and am still here for Papa Bear. I hate that sometimes he suffers too (because of me, as hard as I try to hide my pain from him )

I too could die easily for papa bear. It's being alive that is beyond hard.

I'm glad you're still here

[CepheidVariable]

..... .....

[Bill3]