vacant room causing me to feel depressed

so if you've read anxiety (or bipolar), you know that I have been given eviction notice to leave my current property.

the thing I am really struggling with (which I didn't think would be much of an issue), is that when I do leave, my room will be vacant for a while

the room dark, the door closed, utter silence.



I don't know how I can feel better about this.

I mean, i'll still be alive, i'll still be me, just.... somewhere else and it's really bothering me.

not the being somewhere else (it will be good to have a change), but the whole vacant room thing

The kind of ultra-sensitivity you've described often seems to accompany mental illness. I completely understand how you feel about the vacant room. I suspect you will feel better when you have a new place to go to, because you won't feel so strongly attached to the old place.

thanks.

you're probably right

to me though it's just as bad as dying alone.

Hmm. Maybe you could try to think about the room in another way. Or in multiple ways? To kind of diffuse that one thought about the room that's giving you the trouble?

Maybe consider that the room is kind of a pocket in space and time, where different people and events wander through occasionally. Look at the world from the room's perspective. The days or weeks or months that the room is empty might just be a really short time from the room's perspective. I mean, a room can be around for hundreds of years. Maybe this lapse in a tenant is just like a moment to take a little nap between visitors, or a little time for the room to take a breath while the universe is whirling together the correct circumstances so the next visitor can appear.

Maybe the room keeps a kind of collection of characters that have stayed there, like people keep baseball cards or whatnot. Tons people have or will cross paths with the room. Maybe the room is like pretty glad to have a little empty time so it can properly tie up the ends of your story there and get it all fresh and clear for the next traveler to stop by with their own story. Maybe the room was never really "yours", you were just crossing paths and now it's time for you both to cross paths with something else somewhere else.

Zoom your perspective into the future 100 years and look back at the beautiful heart warming story of a room and all it's people and all their intricate stories and how it all fits together perfectly.

this post made me smile (a little)
it's not a bad idea at all.

i'll try that