![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
|||
|
|||
((VENT))
I try to contact people I used to know and they disappear. One claims to be busy and one just doesn't respond, even after I "nudge" with a message! And then I read around the internet and I see being busy is a sign of social status. WHAT THE ****! So because I make time to catch up with people means I am of low status hence unworthy of being in contact with? I'm sitting here frustrated with anger, about ME BEING SICK OF BEING A ****ING FAILURE! I want to work hard but I am just UNABLE! I can't open up a job website and start looking, I just CAN'T! I'm starting university soon, and all I wanted in my life is a good life. Going to the nearby university makes me feel horrible - it increases the chances I'll be stuck in my house, and decreases my chance of finding partners since it's much more expensive around here. I wanted to go to a far away university. But I didn't get there because I only got accepted to a single major, rather than a dual major I wanted. Moreover, I wanted to get there so I can be far from home and meet new people, start afresh. But now I can't really do that, since I'm in the same area with all the memories and stuckness, and I had toxic relationships with 3 people there. I don't want to be stuck. I don't want to be stuck at home. I don't know how to break free anymore. I just feel like canceling the appliance to the nearby university (I will lose 3k from this, besides the refund), working at some place and applying to the far away university, just so I can be far away with no worry about apartment salaries. I really have no idea what to do. I've been obsessing about success and I got to talk about it with my therapist right before our session ended. I told him I don't want this topic to remain open, yet that son of a ***** told me he won't be able to close it in one minute and that it's important that I leave it for future talk. Now I am left vulnerable and in pain because of this, he's a ****ING NAZI!! |
![]() 952p65823, Fuzzybear, Shazerac
|
Reply |
|