[little turtle]

i am terrified of dying...i don't want to die..
what kind of life is this...at one time i wanted.. to be gone..
i was feeling like a failure...i never wanted to work again..
but now it has changed...my guilts are all coming to the surface..
actually i cant say it here but i also am very very angry at THE ABUSERS...

I think being scared to die is natural, and all of us (at 1 point, or still) are afraid of death

me, for example, I know I put on a brave face about.. oh well, it's the circle of life, it happens, life goes on, but I think that's a lie.

deep down I am terrified of it. terrified of not being able to do things I can now

even simple things.. listen to music, breav air, smile at someone.. they sound simple things, because for now we take them for granted, but their will come a time...

as for blaming abusers, I would hope that 1 day my family will realise what they have done to me, and make peace before they die (it is my biggist fear that I will die with unanswered questions)

but.. for now that's not the case

they still find ways to increase the abuse, find more people to join in, etc- and all this, what if today is your last day, what if you don't get a tomorrow, say everything you need to say now, I have so much to say to my family, so much inside which i'm not even allowed to say

it has been forbidden, by them

and it's sad

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( little turtle ))))))))))

I feel guilty too, it sucks

And I’m very angry at the abusers (like shattered sanity the family of origin ... )

I’m sorry this post isn’t very helpful, I’m not supposed to speak (mostly due to my inner critic )

[cryingontheinside]

I relate when you said what kind of life is this . I always wonder the same thing . but I don't think I really want to die although that thought slips in my head sometimes . really I just want a better life

I don’t want you to die either! We need you here

You are loved and needed here

[Sunflower123]

I’m sorry you are struggling. I care and I hope you start feeling better. I’m here if you want to talk. Sending big hugs.

[starryprince]

Hey there littleturtle! I'm very young, but I am also terrified of dying. It's something I've been thinking about since I was 10 years old. I remember being in my bed and my eyes tearing up because I realized there would come a day when my mom wouldn't physically be here. I've been thinking of death and my mortality for a long time. That's why I always try my best to tell the people I care for that I appreciate them. I always worry about how or when I'm going to die.

Thinking like that is normal and I think everyone is afraid of dying on some level or another.

I wish this was more helpful, but I hope you're doing well.