bummed about getting older

I guess there's the fact that you potentially have 30 to 40 years still ahead of you (and who even knows, maybe some medical advances will extend that in the near future). It's up to you, how you're going to spend them. I mean, one person I find inspiring is Christopher Lee who, I think, got into recording metal albums in his late 80s... And, of course, my granddad who was quite active on his own farm, which he started after he retired, well into his 70s. The point is, you don't necessarily have to be limited by an aging body, and many people seem to completely reinvent themselves mentally from time to time. Although I obviously can't speak with any authority, being much younger. But you have asked.

Hi James,

I had depression through my twenties. I used to cry on every single birthday because I felt like life had passed me by. I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Crying when you turn 23 because you feel like life's wasted seems pretty silly, right? I'm 32 now and I am not depressed anymore. And my birthday is my favorite day of the year.

My point is that depression lies to you, and it is a very convincing liar. It doesn't matter how old you are or how much time you have left if you believe time is running out. The idea that time is running out is just a belief. And since it makes you suffer and keeps you trapped in depression, it's a false belief.

Depression leaves you with all kinds of false beliefs that make you suffer. And you can identify them and then question them and see that they're false. And then you can purposely systematically replace them with nicer beliefs.

I did it by making lists. I have several lists that I make every night before I go to bed. And it has absolutely changed my entire world.

What if you wrote down a happy memory every night? And wrote down something you're excited about every night? Even if you don't feel happy or feel excited? What if you purposely exercise that ability by forcing your mind to go there?

For me it rediscovered those parts of my mind, and over the course of a couple of months it changed my thought patterns. It retrains you. Instead of searching around for ways you're out of time, your mind will start searching around for the joys in the future and the purpose in the past. You find the evidence you're looking for. So start asking your brain to look for something new.

Your mind will do what you tell it to do if you keep kindly nudging it in the right direction.

What do you think about trying that?

I don't know as I have any particular words of encouragement I can offer. (I'm pushing 70!) But I wanted to simply leave a quick reply letting you know I read your post & I wish you well...

I feel the same as you do and I'm in my 30's - I'm dreading turning 40! Opportunities to succeed diminish as you age and I feel as though most things are geared towards the young. Logically, I know that 30's and 40's these days isn't really that old because people are living longer, but society does expect you to have achieved a certain status as you get older.

I'm single, jobless and childless too, which puts me at the bottom of the pile regarding social desirability. That makes me less likely to want to socialise because I don't want to be judged.

Sorry I can't give you any words of encouragement, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this and I hope that your doctor is able to help you

I turned 40 this year. Single by choice and childless.
I have suffered from clinical depression since I was 12.
Turning forty was particularly tough for me because I finally realized that I had spent the last two decades letting depression stop me from executing my dreams. Stupid that I am, it took me this long to realize that I let depression rule the last two decades.
In any event, this realization triggered me and I relapsed and I spent the majority of 2017 crying and hiding in bed. While it has been awful, it also has forced me to focus on my recovery, learning to let go and go after the simple life that I would like to embrace.

Very depressing. I have been watching 13 reasons why on Netflix and the thing I most want to scream at the character who is suicidal is WHY? I mean you don't know how good you have it.