I blew up at work, with my evil boss

I get so mad at myself a lot because I don't have the courage to ever blow up at anybody at work. I hold back a lot because I feel like I can't afford to lose my job since it's the only thing going right for me in my life.

There's a cleaning lady (or janitor) that upsets me and I think that she feels the same way about me. What really makes it hard is that she does not understand English. She's not hesitant to express her anger, but I am.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. I've been through it myself. There were times when I prevailed by just sticking it out and other times I had quit. Best to you. Oh, outside of work, I can express my anger easier.

I hope it's not insensitive to say that I am amused by the fact that you clashed with your boss again. I think it's because I'm kind of living vicariously through you, and enjoy knowing that this person doesn't get to walk all over you anymore.

Grrr, don't mess with our Purple.

This lady must be some piece o' work . . . to draw this out of you. I mean you sure don't give the impression of being an obstinate, contrary, difficult person to relate to. And you seem, at the very least, reasonably intelligent and someone who'ld be cooperative. But they're out there - those who fulfill the "Peter Principle:" "People tend to rise to their level of incompetence."

When I got dealt raw treatment on the job, I used to take two days off, just to send a message, sort of a "job action" in lieu of quitting, till I was ready to do that. I hope you find a situation where you'll be valued and shown that. I've had both kinds of jobs. Usually, when I left a place, I ended up being somewhere that was better in some way. (Though not always, but often enough.)

So she says she treats everyone the same way. That wouldn't surprise me. Sometimes coworkers can give you some validation. I got that from a coworker I never expected it from, after we both had quit and ran into each other at a subsequent job site. She told me our previous job environment had given her PTSD. All the time I had thought she was fine with the place.

I’m sending support, PVB.

I hope things settle down and work out for you.

I had a violent father, as a lot of us here seem to have had, and never learned that conflict was normal, and wouldn't always end in disaster.

I freeze.

I've always hated myself for it, but joining this forum has made me be less hard on myself.