[East17]

I think one of the hardest things to come to terms with is that at the end of the day, however much support and help a person has, it is only them that can make the changes necessary in their life in order to progress, get well, whatever you want to call it.

This was brought home to me recently by CPN who said 'we can only give you the tools, it's up to you whether you use them or not.'...and of course she's right. They can't take the meds /do the therapy /attend various MH appointments - only the person suffering can do that.

I think it's so easy to just look for someone else to save us (I'm as guilty of that as anyone)...
but in the end...
we have to save ourselves.

[East17]

Originally Posted by East17

I think one of the hardest things to come to terms with is that at the end of the day, however much support and help a person has, it is only them that can make the changes necessary in their life in order to progress, get well, whatever you want to call it.

This was brought home to me recently by CPN who said 'we can only give you the tools, it's up to you whether you use them or not.'...and of course she's right. They can't take the meds /do the therapy /attend various MH appointments - only the person suffering can do that.

I think it's so easy to just look for someone else to save us (I'm as guilty of that as anyone)...
but in the end...
we have to save ourselves.

And that is such a depressing thought...

[Fuzzybear]

I’m not sure I can elaborate on what the CPN said

I’m here for you if you ever need me

[sugarbeeMe]

Originally Posted by East17

And that is such a depressing thought...

On the other side- I can control myself better than anyone else so I’m thankful I’m not reliant on some goober for my continued growth.

Originally Posted by East17

I think one of the hardest things to come to terms with is that at the end of the day, however much support and help a person has, it is only them that can make the changes necessary in their life in order to progress, get well, whatever you want to call it.

This was brought home to me recently by CPN who said 'we can only give you the tools, it's up to you whether you use them or not.'...and of course she's right. They can't take the meds /do the therapy /attend various MH appointments - only the person suffering can do that.

I think it's so easy to just look for someone else to save us (I'm as guilty of that as anyone)...
but in the end...
we have to save ourselves.

You are so right so right. Some people look at all the professors in the mental health field as somebody that all of a sudden shall turn the light on for them. I don't blame them. May be it is so for all of us in the beginning before we understand the hard truth: "There is much work to do, even if medication and talk therapy can be of some help on the road, but, as you say: "In the end we have to save ourselves!" Yes, I have been saving myself for years and am proud of that! Hope everyone who have started on the same road are able to appreciate their own work with themselves!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by East17

I think one of the hardest things to come to terms with is that at the end of the day, however much support and help a person has, it is only them that can make the changes necessary in their life in order to progress, get well, whatever you want to call it.

This was brought home to me recently by CPN who said 'we can only give you the tools, it's up to you whether you use them or not.'...and of course she's right. They can't take the meds /do the therapy /attend various MH appointments - only the person suffering can do that.

I think it's so easy to just look for someone else to save us (I'm as guilty of that as anyone)...
but in the end...
we have to save ourselves.

Well said.

I agree.

[mulan]

It's up to us, you are totally right. But sometimes not even all the will can help. Maybe if someone gives me the right tools, but who knows what the right tools for me are? Maybe someone does, maybe not.
Even so as external criticism can do damage as does external support can help.

I know one thing that start and end with us... Before nothing, after nothing... But this is what I believe.

[ArcheM]

Yeah, I have to agree with mulan. The mind is too complicated to even say that it's definitely the person who has to make the changes. I feel that there's a bit of a "chicken and egg" question, too... Who knows? Maybe there's someone who just changes themselves. But for others there's a small, almost insignificant event, and suddenly they come alive... I don't know, I guess it's just my perspective. On the other hand, it's much healthier, when you do change, to take some responsibility for that, otherwise you're just a leaf drifting on water...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by mulan

It's up to us, you are totally right. But sometimes not even all the will can help. Maybe if someone gives me the right tools, but who knows what the right tools for me are? Maybe someone does, maybe not.
Even so as external criticism can do damage as does external support can help.

I know one thing that start and end with us... Before nothing, after nothing... But this is what I believe.

I agree, only a very skilled and caring helper, who has empathy,
would know what the right tools for each individual are.

And absolutely, external criticism can and does do damage.

And absolutely, external support can and does help.

I’m not trained as a “helping professional” but sometimes I wonder what some of these professionals have learnt and what their agenda is

[East17]

Originally Posted by mulan

It's up to us, you are totally right. But sometimes not even all the will can help. Maybe if someone gives me the right tools, but who knows what the right tools for me are? Maybe someone does, maybe not.
Even so as external criticism can do damage as does external support can help.

I know one thing that start and end with us... Before nothing, after nothing... But this is what I believe.

Yes you have a point about "the right tools". Who is to say what the right tools are?
In my experience, MH professionals seem to be very prescriptive. Sort of 'We have given you tools X, Y and Z and if you use them correctly and regularly, you will feel better' - but because we are all unique individuals, not everyone will be helped by the same things, yet they have a shopping list of therapies, one of which will surely work! (and if it doesn't, then it's the client's fault).

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by East17

Yes you have a point about "the right tools". Who is to say what the right tools are?
In my experience, MH professionals seem to be very prescriptive. Sort of 'We have given you tools X, Y and Z and if you use them correctly and regularly, you will feel better' - but because we are all unique individuals, not everyone will be helped by the same things, yet they have a shopping list of therapies, one of which will surely work! (and if it doesn't, then it's the client's fault).

and if it doesn’t work, it’s the clients fault. Hmmmmm. I find this scary bad but so common