How easy

How easy is to shut down my feelings.
The morning/afternoon was awfull, I know it was. First day at a new task without little help, many new people. So MUCH confusion on my mind.
Triple checking my work and forgeting it still. How bad and unprofessional of me. Tell me who someone is many time and I won't know their face or name.
Anxiety on the roof, social anxiety too. So insecure trying to look though from the outside, only detachment helps.

Came home to my sister and it's all gigling and jokes, but something doesn't feel right. I am missing.

Oh, copping mechanisms, just shut up!
Are you coming back? Do words know how to describe you?

When is Thursday and a fraction of my thoughts jump to conclusions thinking it is Monday, while at the same time I am making plans knowing tomorrow is Friday. It could be funny, but it is just pseudo-demencia playing tricks with my brain.
Helping me hating my self and making me think I am unqualified for anything.