1. I seem to be wearing a sign today that says "Please interrupt me mid-sentence, and then neglect to ask me to finish my thought." Why am I even wasting my time with you?

2. I've been denying all year that I've developed dermatillomania, but the upper ridge of my nose and my forearms looks like I have a bad sunburn now. It has become very noticeable this last week, and I hate being in public more than usual. Makes me feel weak. Because I am.

3. I was hired to make music for a project that's being released next year, and I haven't been able to focus on it. I took the commission in March, and haven't even finished 10% of the work yet. The developer is understanding so far, but I feel like I can't even think about making music for myself anymore. I've developed a decent network among game developers through commissions, but I'm starting to think about walking away from it all. This was supposed to be my "dream", but it just makes me hate myself more.

4. I can't deal with the snow this early in the year. I'm not ready to go back to digging myself out every day, and freezing my face off, and planning every outing with an extra 30-40 minutes for defrosting and inclement driving. Why do I even live up here?

5. No, seriously, let's go back to #1 for a moment. I'm sick of tolerating people who seem to have no time for me. I'm sick of being derailed. And I'm not just going to speak up more, to get a word in edgewise. I'm not going to talk louder, or more forcefully. What I'm going to do is what I've always done, which is fade out of their peripheral vision, until they're not even aware I'm gone. It's what's best for both of us.

6. I don't even know. I feel like I do things "right", but I never feel "right". I chase my dreams (with some degree of success), I succeed in social situations, I exercise, I take my meds, I do my work, I clean my home, I bathe. When things don't work, I change them, and try new things. I'm open to new experiences. And when none of that works, I do nothing, which of course also has no satisfaction in it. Is there no satisfactory end to this cycle?

Woo. Saturday night.

[*Laurie*]

Hi Bjornen, I very much relate to your frustration about being interrupted. It amazes me that most people have very poor listening skills. I get interrupted a lot and do as you do...I just fade out. Then I feel angry and miserably isolated and misunderstood.

I also have dermatillomania. I pick at and peel my cuticles...it looks horrific. I'm surprised that no one has mentioned it to me. And I like my hands; I hate feeling ashamed of them.

It's too early for snow. I give people credit for living in places that get snow. I don't know how I'd cope with it.

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

1. I seem to be wearing a sign today that says "Please interrupt me mid-sentence, and then neglect to ask me to finish my thought." Why am I even wasting my time with you?

Everyone seems to do that. It's a bad habit no one seems to be able to stop themselves from doing, even when they're aware of it. It isn't just you; The sign isn't required.

I watch other people interacting and see a lot of people just talking *at* each other. Strangely, it doesn't seem to bother them.

[a lot of serious suckage in items 2 to 6]

Originally Posted by Bjørnen

Woo. Saturday night.

Ah yes, good ol' Saturday night. A weekly reminder of all the dissatisfaction and loneliness in my life. The Bay City Rollers can bite my <bleeeep ... community guideline violation>

[CepheidVariable]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Hi Bjornen, I very much relate to your frustration about being interrupted. It amazes me that most people have very poor listening skills. I get interrupted a lot and do as you do...I just fade out. Then I feel angry and miserably isolated and misunderstood.

Well said, though.

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

It's too early for snow. I give people credit for living in places that get snow. I don't know how I'd cope with it.

In fairness, I find lawn and weed maintenance far more tedious and time consuming than snow shovelling. So there's that at least.

Always look on the bright side of snow-blindness.

[nikon]

I can also relate to the being interrupted, and picking my skin. With being interrupted it's really hard not to feel like there's something wrong with you/me/us, or like we're terminally awkward.
jeez, skin picking is difficult to deal with too.... I've been through times when I've worn gloves all the time to get myself to stop, but it's never been long-lasting. don't be too hard on yourself. it's not due to weakness.

[Fuzzybear]

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Bjornen, you're one of those people who lists their faults but still comes across as such a nice person; I'm left thinking... let me read that again... where's the problem?

I don't mean to make light of your suffering. Only to say, don't think you're not good enough as you are. Because you are.

I have a very soft voice, so I understand about people trying to drown you out. I agree that becoming loud is not the answer.

It's rude to cut you off when you're making a point. If it were me, I'd get into the habit of saying, 'Yeah. To go back to the point I was making.'

Do it flatly, with as little emotion as possible. If they interrupt again, do it again.

Eventually, even a numbskull should get the message.

(((Bjornen)))

I would love to hear about what kind of music you make, and how do you do this?