Depressed
Low energy
Hopeless
Suicidal
I feel tiny and dark. Everything is an ordeal. I called my mother yesterday and that’s never a good idea.
If all goes well enough I will graduate soon. Apparently I should feel proud of this. But I don’t feel anything. It will have no effect on my mood just like graduating high school and skydiving didn’t make me feel anything.
I have failed to make meaningful friendships and have no one to bid farewell as my t reminded me.
I am undesirable. Mentally undisciplined and lazy and physically not as aesthetically pleasing as I should be. I am depressed.
Frankly the prospect of earning less then men makes me want to kill myself. What is the ****ing point?
Why don’t all the womin kill themselves? What do I have to live for.
I lack the capacity to care so I don’t know why I get surprised at my incompetence. It is truly unfortunate that I am like this but despite it being an illness it also makes me truly useless. I am a waste of space. This is just a fact.
I have been blanking out lately. I also can’t string together a sentence. I can’t write because my brain can’t sustain the thought. Maybe this is a problem. I just want to die. I never cared much about how I am doing.
I don’t care enough about getting better because even if I’m better the world is not. Why should I have to deal with this ******** day after day.

all i want is to be in bed where i can pretend i'm safe and my imaginary friends can take care of me. i'm not up to much else. i literally can't.

I'm a female business owner and do well. The opportunities are out there! Depression really skews how we look at the world. Its truly unfair. I completely relate to wanting to lay in bed all day. I just want you to know you're not alone and it can get better. Hugs.

I’m a piece of ****. I’m lazy and no good. I should go to jail. I should kill my self. I want to **** things up. I’m destructive. I should shut tf up and never wake up. I need
Someone to punish me. I want my mother to yell at me. I am a poisonous toxic person.

Depression lies to you. It is nasty, vicious and relentless. That doesn't make you any of the above. You are being lied to. You are strong enough to get through this and I promise you that you can.

[lotusblossom19]

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Sounds like you're having a really hard time. I think you're being much too hard on yourself. You don't come off as a bad person to me in any way. Please don't do anything to harm yourself. You do NOT deserve pain. I am available to talk and to listen whenever. Hugs and sincere hope that you feel better soon.

[Bill3]