My father gives me depression...

Well I am 19 years old still treated like a 14 year old by my parents. Well mostly my step-dad. Because of him I am in depression, I've had for years now. Yes this man has raised since I was 2 years old but as I got older, I hated him more and more.
You know how you get bullied from kids in school? Nope not me at least not in school. I was bullied by my father. Bullied physically and mentally. Even at 18 years old I'd get smacked up. I got beaten so bad I had to call out work, then next day wear pounds of make-up on my face. Keep in mind it was because I texted a friend saying I had a crush on a guy at work and smoked weed with some people. Even though I was 18 he still beat me. I ran away for 2 hours but had to got back since I didn't have my phone or shoes on me. I should have called the cops when that happened but had no way to contact.
Every single he gets mad at me for anything I do. I make the wrong face, say something too loud or too low, gives attitude (which I swear I don't but he swears I do). It's like anything I do is wrong, wrong, wrong to him. Nothing I do is right.
There were times when I'd say I have depression or thought of ending myself he'd snicker. I'd hear a snicker from him. It's just a joke to him, I'm just a joke to him. I just never cared.
One of the worst part of him is his mouth. He doesn't care how you feel he will say anything to hurt you without even thinking. The other worst part is he is over controlling and strict. Yes I know I still live under his roof but he is extreme. I am not allowed to do anything. I have no contact with anybody. I literally don't go anywhere unless it's with them.
I'm not even allowed to be with someone that I love and makes me happy because of him.
Throughout high-school I wasn't allowed to shave only when he said I could. I'm a very hairy girl so I'd go to school with hair legs and a mustache. I wasn't allowed to dress the way I wanted to. All my cloth had to be big n baggy on me nothing tight. It hot so bad that the cute guy of my class thought I was a lesbian. Because I looked like a dude.
My mother hated how is with me sometimes. I see it. She never says anything because she can't handle anymore and doesn't wanna deal with him. It's crazy how could never go to My mother n ask her for anything, I'd had to go to him. My mom would sneak stuff to give me whether it's money cloth, make-up.
The point is that I'm done being controlled and feeling depressed by a man who isn't even my real father.

welcome to psychcentral

I am sorry to hear that your father causes you so much depression (my mom wasn't much better)

I hope you continue to post here.

their is a forum for childhood emotional neglect too, if you are interested in that

I see some similarities to the environment I was raised in, except they kicked me out when I was 17. Is there any possibility of you moving out and getting yourself into a healthier environment? You don't deserve to be treated this way!

Hello. Welcome to PC. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time. I agree with TheSadGirl. When you can, get out of that environment. You deserve better.

You definitely need to get out of there. There's no reason worth hearing for anyone to be treated the way he treats you.

Along with the forum shattered sanity told you, there's a Survivors of Abuse forum which can offer some insight on how to get out of this situation.

You don't deserve this, in anyway, shape or form. PC is a good place to talk with others. Stay safe.

Nobody's home life is perfect