[magasanguis]

I might as well start out by saying that I'm not in the best of moods. A little bit of cynicism, a little bit of despair. Comes from thinking about things that are too far beyond me.

I had a discussion with my friend yesterday about the nature of humanity and our society as it stands. He's an intelligent kid, I agree with him most of the time, but when it comes to people, he sees the world through rose-colored glasses. For example, he doesn't like to believe in a definition of "normal." And I'd agree with him that it's hard to define. But of course I had to remind him that there is such a thing as statistical averageness. He has a much more sympathetic view of the world than I do.

We ended up discussing how we both hate it when people are told they have to do this or say that in order to fit into society. The way I see it, it's our nature as humans to confrom, so wouldn't it be super-human, or a sign of superiority, for someone to question the mold?

He responded by saying that he didn't believe there was a mold.

I could only assume he meant in terms of adolescent "nonconformist" sorts of things. In today's society, there is a definite mold in place.

Everyone is expected to go to college, get a job, get married, have kids, more or less in that order. People that don't are not highly regarded in society. For example, polygamists, single working women, teenage mothers... All of these people have social stigmas, some of whom the law is confused by and therefore they don't get care their circumstances deserve. The law continues to categorize people in a divide-and-conquer way.

I think it's absurd that these standards are in place. It disgusts me how much our lives are regulated by the government, the law, et cetera. I want true freedom. The right to self-determination.

Urgh. These thoughts are crushing me.

[stefano]

You are perfectly right. We are continuously told what to think, and why, and what face should we have while we do it!

Your kid, however smart, is just a kid: many things to learn yet.
I suggest that you buy Ronald Laing's "The politics of experience". It deals exactly with these issues, from the point of view of an enlightened psychiatrist. Then pass it over to your kid...

[pachyderm]

> He responded by saying that he didn't believe there was a mold.

Do you think by that he means that he doesn't feel it necessary for him to fit any mold -- or that he sees no mold for anyone?

[salukigirl]

sounds like you need a womens studies class lol. that is dead one what we talked about. the funny thing is that "nonconformists" fit into a mold of "nonconformists". i always think its so funny to watch these 14 year old boys walking around in their black trench coats and eye liner saying %#@&#! the world! and i always want to ask....did you make that jacket? did you make that eye liner? because you do realize that by buying that youre doing exactly what youre against.

the biggest thing is to make a conscius effort to resist. for sane, logical people, america is a horrible place to live. if i dont love george bush and walk around with an america flag color jacket im un-american. if im a feminist im a lesbian. doesnt matter to people that ive been with the same guy for almost 2 years.

you have to learn to not care about what other people say or think. try once to change their minds. if they dont, thats not your fault. all you can do is be active in changing the ideal. dont work out 24/7 to fit into that fake ideal that less than 1% of women fit into.

i dont wear make up anymore, i dont work out (i walk probably 10 miles at school anyways), i dont eat fast food, i boycott wal-mart...im just one person. but i have changed my boyfriends mind. he now hates wal-mart, hates girls that wear make up and supports me in all my reproductive rights protests.

its extremely hard to grow up having any sense. ahhh....ignorance really is bliss.

[magasanguis]

@pachyderm - Apparently he doesn't see a mold for anyone. As salukigirl said, ignorance is bliss.

I wish I could be more open and pliable. I wish I could accept things as they are. Maybe then I wouldn't go out into public and think to myself, "Wow, I really the world as it stands."

[salukigirl]

thats the problem with people - they accept things for how they are. thats the opposite of what you want to do. i used to feel so damn depressed because it was like everything was down on me and all the bad people get all the good things. so y'know what i became active. i volunteer at animal shelters, petco, i participate in rallys for reproductive justice....im much happier now because im trying to change things. now i cant sit back and say "well this sucks but theres nothing i can do about it"

some people are idiots and those people you have to ignore. this woman (i work at a pizza place) came in and went from normal to screaming and cussing at me. so i just laughed at her and went "its food, lady! chill out!" so she stormed out. but shes an idiot. so i ignore her.

[Perna]

The problem is that there are many molds, many norms. There is no such thing as "society" so that mold won't work because of the principle of "one man's meat is another man's poison". My society might not bear any relation to your society; I almost guarantee it doesn't because of our age differences and circumstances?

Look at the "goth" movement, for example, and how kids try to "rebel" and be "different" but all end up looking the same? And we don't have to "gel" in molds, we are liquid and while we "accept" the mold we might be that shape but if we go out of that mold into another we choose that new shape to conform to?

[magasanguis]

@salukigirl, I definitely understand what you mean about that lady freaking out. I'm in the marching band in my school, and I see people get totally pissed off because one person's not in the right spot, or someone's on the wrong foot, or can't do the dance (yeah, we dance)...
At the end of the day, I'm telling my friend, "Hey, come on. It's high school band!"

@Perna, I know what you're saying, and the whole goth thing is really stupid. Honestly. I'm talking about how the right to self-determination is severely inhibited for everyone, regardless of age.

Case and point: I enrolled in Cyber School last year with the understanding that extracurricular activities (like band) were offered by my local school district. The school policy says that band is a "co-curricular" activity, and they don't have any policies for co-curricular activities and Cyber School students, so they denied it to me.

God forbid I'd make a decision about my education that wasn't normal. They want me to make a choice between my academic life, which suffers in public school, and my social life, which would be all but gone if it weren't for band. It's not fair.

If people choose different lifestyles, the government has no idea what to do with them. Coming up with logical solutions takes too much effort. This is why they categorize everyone. Not a bad idea, standardize everything to make things easier, but it's gotten to the point where no one is truly unique because society/administration makes it impossible.

It's impossible to be free.

[nowheretorun]

what a thoughtful and intelligent girl you seem to be... and taking on the tough issues, society, government influence, freedom, individuality... i find when i dwell too long these concepts almost always depress me but i never let that stop me either, it just stops most people from discussing it with me.. so many of us feel powerless when dealing with things so large, but hey, i believe its important that someone rise to the task...

don't believe that everyone has their head in the sand, sometimes all we need is a good leader, or at least someone willing to try... i've felt for years these were important issues but so depressed i didn't know where or how to begin and i agree, there wasn't much encouragement from the established sectors of society...

but looking about now, the state of world affairs is exactly what inaction has brought us to... you rock maq and continue... there is nothing wrong at all in trying to improve conditions... but possibly be willing to accept that often it is a lonely path...