[jenna1997]

I had a nervous breakdown in June 2017. Some background: I've been living at home since graduating college 2 years ago, worked at a job in my hometown. I consider myself ambitious, hardworking, independent. My anxiety and stress had been building ever since I moved home, until it got so debilitating I had to quit my job in June. I felt paralyzed, had derealization/DP. Panic attacks were insane. I felt a desperate need to escape, I felt extreme rage and resentment at my parents, I felt I was ready to explode/snap. It was like I had had ENOUGH of them (especially my mom).

I've been seeing a therapist about this since October -- I felt therapy helped a lot, and I was so focused on it and made progress in terms of the issues with my mom. It was like we uncovered the root cause of my issue/anger.

However, it's now January (almost Feb.) and I feel like reality has hit me -- I haven't reached the goal I wanted in therapy yet, and I realized I have to move on with my life. I feel like complete S**T because I regret not having taken a break following the breakdown in June -- I was in horrible shape but I felt like if I had gone away from my parents maybe I would have been better. But a part of my mind was like maybe I need to grow from this and get my anger out? And experience a breakthrough?

I feel like a piece of $#%^, and so stupid for continuing on with this situation. I have dark, low thoughts as a result, suicidal thoughts I never thought I'd have in my life. I'm so angry with myself, wishing I had left just to give me some sense of joy because I had had it with my parents and living situation.

Any thoughts on my situation?

[Marla500]

Why are you so angry with your parents?

[jenna1997]

Originally Posted by Marla500

Why are you so angry with your parents?

I think it's just the demands they put on me when I'm merely human and need to figure things out on my own. I felt I couldn't open up to them about having issues, or anything else.