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Old Feb 08, 2018, 12:45 AM
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AHeartOfRuby AHeartOfRuby is offline
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Ever since I learned that depression is extremely hereditary I've been in a state of unease. Both my parents have depression but only one has been treated the other is the aggressive denial type that sees nothing wrong. Well.. I'm confident I have it to and I hate saying that because self diagnosing is bad but I've been told on many occasions to seek help. My parents (especially my mother) will not let me. They laugh at my suffering and condemn my sadness or they full blown ignore it.

I had such a horrible episode today that not only did I have a minor SH relapse but during school I went to 10th hour thinking it was 11th hour and completely unaware of the fact that it was 1pm and not 2pm and I couldn't find my class and so I stayed where we were supposed to be and I ALMOST left school at 130 when in reality school ends at 230. The only reason I found out about my mistake was because I physically asked what time school ends.

I'm so ashamed. I don't know what to do. I don't want to get worse.
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  #2  
Old Feb 08, 2018, 01:05 PM
Anonymous32451
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AHeartOfRuby View Post
Ever since I learned that depression is extremely hereditary I've been in a state of unease. Both my parents have depression but only one has been treated the other is the aggressive denial type that sees nothing wrong. Well.. I'm confident I have it to and I hate saying that because self diagnosing is bad but I've been told on many occasions to seek help. My parents (especially my mother) will not let me. They laugh at my suffering and condemn my sadness or they full blown ignore it.

I had such a horrible episode today that not only did I have a minor SH relapse but during school I went to 10th hour thinking it was 11th hour and completely unaware of the fact that it was 1pm and not 2pm and I couldn't find my class and so I stayed where we were supposed to be and I ALMOST left school at 130 when in reality school ends at 230. The only reason I found out about my mistake was because I physically asked what time school ends.

I'm so ashamed. I don't know what to do. I don't want to get worse.


I can totally relate to the parents thing.

my mother was the same.. doesn't believe in mental health, doesn't believe in physical health.. she's the sort of person who thinks she's emortal and never will need to go to hospital. I could have been treated a lot sooner if she'd just let me get on with it.

is their anyone else in your family (sisters, brothers, etc) you could turn to?
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  #3  
Old Feb 08, 2018, 04:25 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I know you wrote that you told a teacher about your depression. I wondered if there might be a school counselor you could talk to or if there might be any free youth services organizations in your area that might be able to provide some help. There are also telephone hotlines you could call so that you at least had someone you could talk to. I know how difficult it can be to keep things all bottled up. Of course, continuing to post here on PC can help too. Please take care.
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  #4  
Old Feb 08, 2018, 04:28 PM
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AHeartOfRuby AHeartOfRuby is offline
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I wondered if there might be a school counselor or teacher you could talk to or if there might be any free youth services organizations in your area that might be able to provide some help. There are also telephone hotlines you could call so that you at least had someone you could talk to. I know how difficult it can be to keep things all bottled up. Of course, continuing to post here on PC can help too. Please take care.
I've tried to go through the school nothing's worked out they've started to just send me back to class despite being in states of panic..
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  #5  
Old Feb 08, 2018, 04:38 PM
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Skeezyks Skeezyks is offline
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Originally Posted by AHeartOfRuby View Post
I've tried to go through the school nothing's worked out they've started to just send me back to class despite being in states of panic..
I wish I knew what to tell you. It's been many years since I was in school... of any kind. But this all sounds sadly familiar. The only other thought that comes to mind is if there are possibly any youth services organizations where you live that might be able to provide some support. It's so difficult when your parents laugh at your suffering & condemn your sadness. If nothing else, hopefully being here on PC can be of some comfort & support.
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Thanks for this!
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  #6  
Old Feb 08, 2018, 06:07 PM
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AHeartOfRuby AHeartOfRuby is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I wish I knew what to tell you. It's been many years since I was in school... of any kind. But this all sounds sadly familiar. The only other thought that comes to mind is if there are possibly any youth services organizations where you live that might be able to provide some support. It's so difficult when your parents laugh at your suffering & condemn your sadness. If nothing else, hopefully being here on PC can be of some comfort & support.
Thank you for your help, it's okay that you don't know because I don't either. It's such a challenge trying to get help for my mental health issues especially because of my parents but I hope once I get to college I can join a youth group or something.. the problem is that's a year and a half away and relapses will occur before then. I can't get help without my family disowning me right now, that's a sad reality I must endure.
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I am not my illnesses there is more to life than a diagnosis or lack of you are never alone .

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  #7  
Old Feb 09, 2018, 10:31 AM
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AHeartOfRuby AHeartOfRuby is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2016
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Having an episode filled day of almost crying, fatigue, and fits of anger. Plus a headache. I got 8 hours of sleep and I feel like a deadweight. I don't want to deal with my father and his fiance this weekend and I work tonight. I don't know how to get through this alone. I don't feel like I belong...
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I am not my illnesses there is more to life than a diagnosis or lack of you are never alone .

Hugs from:
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  #8  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 12:16 AM
Anonymous50987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AHeartOfRuby View Post
Ever since I learned that depression is extremely hereditary I've been in a state of unease. Both my parents have depression but only one has been treated the other is the aggressive denial type that sees nothing wrong. Well.. I'm confident I have it to and I hate saying that because self diagnosing is bad but I've been told on many occasions to seek help. My parents (especially my mother) will not let me. They laugh at my suffering and condemn my sadness or they full blown ignore it.

I had such a horrible episode today that not only did I have a minor SH relapse but during school I went to 10th hour thinking it was 11th hour and completely unaware of the fact that it was 1pm and not 2pm and I couldn't find my class and so I stayed where we were supposed to be and I ALMOST left school at 130 when in reality school ends at 230. The only reason I found out about my mistake was because I physically asked what time school ends.

I'm so ashamed. I don't know what to do. I don't want to get worse.
You still haven’t told us what the teacher said.
And school is the right place to seek help.
Sometimes we have loss of focus on reality because of things that bother us that need to be treated. I’m not just talking about depression, but also about your abusive parents for instance and coping with it
  #9  
Old Feb 11, 2018, 01:24 AM
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Nike007 Nike007 is offline
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I’m sorry I told a teacher about my depression. My parents were like this. It impacted me more as a teen now, but... It’s not in my genes either, I just kinda have it.

My parents were and still are really against mental health but for me, I really insisted on it. Even though my mom was outright abusive and all, I still stood my ground that I needed treatment for anxiety, and then depression. I did have depression the same time as anxiety, I was just in denial about it until last year I believe.

But talking to a teacher is a good start. You wouldn’t know how much teachers helped me with my mental health struggles throughout all of high school. They were the best things for me. They understood my pain, or at least as best as they could, and would help me he best they could. I work on my own to set up supports in school. My school had a social worker you could see which I did and that helped.

Also, is there any way you could go to the doctors for this? Like even telling your parents you feel sick in some way so that you could go and get treatment?

I’m also thinking the above because you could get an IEP (individual education plan) to help you in school. It allows you to have accommodations and stuff to level the playing field. Like it can give you breaks during class or extra time or other things that can help you succeed in school. That’s why I’m asking. I had one and still have accommodations in University.

You are not alone. You can always talk to me if you need to. I do really mean it.
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