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#1
Feb 09, 2018, 07:09 AM
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THIS:
 And by that, I mean my video game character I created. like literally, I'm crazy for even thinking this, let alone having falling in love even! I feel like such a dumbass for even saying about it. I dream every night (sometimes days, it varies) about having a real life spent with him. (Now I know I have another arising problem nobody wants to be around; next to being bipolar) together with this man (I mean, character) and days when i feel like i don't have anybody (which i don't) i sometimes remember that I have him to go to. (Simply ignorant sounding right now, I know) Even though he doesn't speak back, i can hear it anyways. I'm wrapped, trapped & shrouded in my dreams by then, then everyone sees me staring into space for at least 5 minutes or so, sometimes longer. Wondering and just looking. BUT, every time the thought of; he's not real~comes to my brain, the chain reaction thought: 'you don't and never will have anyone like him, looks, or compassionate like in your head'. Which leads to the final thought: 'look at your sorry ***, 22 life; 'you're a joke, you can't 3d model, or can't design and you need to die.' So everyday, I *(!) myself hopefully * in my (*NO) so I CAN dream forever with him. See what I am saying? Yet others stand in my way of doing so: death. Why? Just why? Thanks for listening to my crazy *** talk about a bizarre (sexual-fantasy maybe?) addiction like no other. No need to make up a story to try and relate, I know it's fake anyways. |
 LadyShadow, MickeyCheeky, Sunflower123
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#2
Feb 09, 2018, 09:02 AM
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You are not alone in this by far. Imaginery friends and lovers develop because we don’t find what we want IRL. At least you do know fantasy from reality.
The harsh way you talk to yourself goes to deeper issues than just this, right? Do you see a therapist?
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| LadyShadow, Sunflower123
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#3
Feb 09, 2018, 02:40 PM
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^no i don't see one those.
i guess i deserved that rude comeback; i'm already crazy as is. and no, i CAN"T distinguish reality from fantasy. thanks for reading the creepy weirdo's story. I know this isn't right. I just KNOW it isn't. But I can't help it it though. The sex dreams feel too real. |
| LadyShadow, Sunflower123
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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