[towie]

I have been dealing with major depression for the past year. Just when I think things are ok, something will trigger and I am right back where I started. This past episode was triggered by the sudden death of my father in May. I know the grieving process takes a while, however everything seemed to collapse at once. Conflicts in my family, problems with my job, my teenage daughter, in addition to my mother not feeling well (part medical, part grieving) I was working 5 days a week and traveling weekends to help my mother. I was completely overwhelmed with no support of my own. My job told me to leave my problems at the door that people don't care after awhile. I thought I was going to lose my mind. My doctor suggested I take some time off of work. I also started seeing a psychologist. When I told my job I was talking time off, they agreed and told me that I could not do anything work related for the time period I was out. I am under the impression my staff and coworkers were instructed not to call me.

I have been off from work for 5 weeks now. I will be returning to work in 10 days. I am feeling better for the most part. I am clearly not as emotional as I was. My mother is doing ok, my family situation will someday resolve itself but I learned that I cannot control that.

I am just looking to see if anyone has been in this sitation. Returning back to work after being out because of depression and how did you handle going back to work? I don't know what to say to anyone when I go back, especially someone who doesn't know why I was out. I work with the public, so I am sure I will be asked at least once. I was also told by my 'boss' to leave my personal problems at the door. I never dealt with anyone like her before. I've always had a good rapport with my supierors, but she is new to the organization. I have an appt with my psychologist before I go back.

Any advice would be really appreciated. I am just afraid that I won't be able to get back into the swing of things and people will look at me differently when I go back, like I can't handle my job much less my life. Thanks!!!!

[bipolar_bear]

I wish I had some good advice but I have never had that experience. I can understand your apprehension at returning. I hope that you are well recieved and find the transition back into your job smooth. I am glad you are seeing your t before going back. Maybe the two of you can strategize what to do under certain situations?
Take care and know I am out here.

BB

[towie]

Thank you BB. Ironically enough, tonight I got a call from my assistant and she said my staff is looking forward to me coming back. She made me feel somewhat better. That part will make going back easier. It's everything else, I guess mostly being judged by my peers and superiors, that I am concerned and nervous about. I think that was the reason my t wanted to see me before I went back to work. Thanks again and have a good night.

[Fuzzybear]

[towie]

Thanks Fuzzybear!. I really needed that!

[Perna]

I would use the "excuse" if you have to explain, about your father's death and having to take time to straighten out your mother and his affairs, etc. People will respond "kinder" to that I think than to your own problems?

It's awkward at first going back to work after an illness, even just a physical one. I had some of that in 2003. Someone else has been doing your work (sort of) and the company has been continuing on and you have to fit back in. Too, other people (despite your uptight "boss") will genuinely care how you are and will have heard different rumors/stories as to why you were out, etc. so maybe make up a couple versions, short-and-sweet for those just asking out of politeness and another, slightly more "personal" one for those you think care. But I wouldn't bring up anything on your own, unless you have some good friends among your coworkers and even then I'd wait until you were away from the office to fill them in on what has been happening. Think of it like, "Hello, how are you?" which is both a run-of-the-mill greeting to which everyone always answers, "Fine! How are you? Lovely Fall weather we're having, isn't it?" :-) as well as a serious question where you say something like, "Not too bad; you know my Dad died?" and then add another sentence or two for those you think truly care, depending on their response to the "you know my Dad died" question.

[towie]

Thank you Perna, great advice. I am so anxious and nervous about going back, I know it's not going to be easy. I heard my boss is planning on meeting with me to discuss staffing changes that have taken place in my office since I was gone. I am sure she will be waiting for me when I get in on Monday which is causing a huge knot in my stomach. Just the thought of walking through the door is causing major anxiety. Another problem is I work in the same office as the CEO/President. Going back after 6 weeks, I feel like I am going to be constantly judged. But I guess the best I can do is take day by day. Thanks again Perna! Have a great day!