[ajisalone]

I just can’t. It feels like i’m not meant to live at all. I can’t socialize. My physical health isn’t great. And my mental health it even worse. I can’t even enjoy anything.. What sucks is there are steps i can take to improve all of this but i don’t even have the motivation to. I feel weak and utterly disgusting with myself. I’m not suicidal by any means. can’t tell if that’s a good thing or not considering i don’t want to be here.

[Wild Coyote]

It sounds like depression talking, friend.

I am in a similar situation and it's tough!

Do you have people around you?
Anyone to be a walking buddy with you?
Can you join a gym and get yourself to go?

I find having someone around helps me to do more. Also, making plans with another person motivates me some of the time.

Have you seen a pdoc for a medication review?
I am very depressed and have found stimulants very helpful.

I hope you find some answers.

Keep posting!


WC

[tecomsin]

I just want you to know you are not alone in how you feel. I am also not able to enjoy atm. It's alright to feel weak. Where does the disgust come from?

[ajisalone]

I don’t have ppl around me. Like i said i can’t socialize well at all. Literally it’s been like that since i was a little kid. I never keep friends.
My doctor doesn’t know about my issues at the moment. i’m not on any medication rn. i’m working on seeing a therapist soon enough though

[ajisalone]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I just want you to know you are not alone in how you feel. I am also not able to enjoy atm. It's alright to feel weak. Where does the disgust come from?

The fact that i could be doing better but instead i just sit around or lay in bed. too exhausted to even do schoolwork or take a shower or brush twice a day.

[tecomsin]

I'm also not working at anything, and down to brushing/flossing once a day and showering every other day, but the feeling I get from that is not so much disgust as a feeling of helplessness and fear that I won't be able to take care of myself. I live alone and don't have the kind of friends who would be in a position to help in practical terms, so the fear is coming from an additional situation, isolation.

I'm suggesting that disgust is not the only reaction to this situation, so there is some other factors that contribute to the disgust.

Try to take stock of what you do for yourself and then, well, add one small thing a day.

I worked out a system when I was on chemotherapy and actually relatively mentally healthy because i thought other people actually cared about me. It was a point system.

1 point for taking a shower
1 point for unloading and loading the dishwasher
1 point for going shopping or to appointments
1 point for going for a walk

I also had a fitbit, and some days it was all I could do to get one point for the whole day.

[juliaatwo]

I can recommend you to read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, I hope this book helps you