[BrokenDamaged]

I feel like a total POS, which is the last thing I needed.

I have been isolating myself for 2 months, have not spoken with anyone for that long, am scared to death of human contact, so I was actually upset that my family thought it was alright to drop by like that. My Dad is 81 but healthy, I adore him so I feel like crap.

My depression stems from over 20 years of depression, a recent hospitalization/cancer diagnosis, the end of a "relationship"/getting used by him, and multiple medical bills. I honestly want to die every single day. It has never been this bad for this long.
I want to be alone forever!

[marvin_pa]

Folks who haven't isolated themselves, really have little concept of how all encompassing it can be - even if you tell them. They can only imagine that you'd welcome the attention.

Don't feel bad about it - do you have a cell phone that you can text with? Folks that know me, get taught to send a text before making an appearance. Folks that really know me don't get offended if I decline, or don't immediately respond.

[BrokenDamaged]

Originally Posted by marvin_pa

Folks who haven't isolated themselves, really have little concept of how all encompassing it can be - even if you tell them. They can only imagine that you'd welcome the attention.

Don't feel bad about it - do you have a cell phone that you can text with? Folks that know me, get taught to send a text before making an appearance. Folks that really know me don't get offended if I decline, or don't immediately respond.

Thanks for understanding. I do have a cell but I have ALL calls/texts blocked. I am too ashamed to face anyone, and people disappointedme too much. Sorry

[marvin_pa]

Originally Posted by BrokenDamaged

Thanks for understanding. I do have a cell but I have ALL calls/texts blocked. I am too ashamed to face anyone, and people disappointedme too much. Sorry

Nothing to apologize for, least of all to me - I've done exactly the same things. Even now, the ringer is semi-permanently turned off on my phone, but I've set the voicemail up to transcribe messages to a text, in case there's something I want to know about. A text is easier for me to deal with, as I can do so in my own time & space.

Originally Posted by BrokenDamaged

I feel like a total POS, which is the last thing I needed.

I have been isolating myself for 2 months, have not spoken with anyone for that long, am scared to death of human contact, so I was actually upset that my family thought it was alright to drop by like that. My Dad is 81 but healthy, I adore him so I feel like crap.

My depression stems from over 20 years of depression, a recent hospitalization/cancer diagnosis, the end of a "relationship"/getting used by him, and multiple medical bills. I honestly want to die every single day. It has never been this bad for this long.
I want to be alone forever!

How was your relationship with your father?
It sounds like you have mixed feelings about your father and are irritated he came without notice