Last night, facebook reminded me of a since-departed (died) online friend I had a few years ago.

Possible trigger:

I met her on a different site in 2012 and long story short because what I do remember of that time of my life is stuff I would much rather forget and stay forgotten, after a lot of stuff happened on that forum that I still get upset about remembering, she took her own life. I chatted with her over facebook a few days previously but the night she took her life I was offline sleeping and only got the news from another friend of hers from that forum when I logged onto facebook the next morning.

Basically, the birthday reminder brought back the guilt of "if I'd logged in that night, she might have opened up to me

Possible trigger:

and chosen to live"

Even several years later, it still feels like by not being logged in I caused her to do what she did.

[Emotionally Dead]

There isn't much I can say, other than some people, unfortunately, just can't be helped. I have an online friend who recently had a bad breakup, and I did my best to help him with the dark feelings he was having about not wanting to be here anymore. He said that I saved his life, but at the end of the day I know that if he made a final decision there isn't anything I can do. All we can really do is continue to tell someone how much we care and support them the best way we know how. At least then, someone was still telling them that they're loved and cared for.

I am so sorry that you went through this though and that you are feeling guilt. This is the same cliche thing that everyone will tell you, but it's true: This was not your fault. This was a decision made that was out of your control, and even if you had been logged on that day and even if it did somehow make a difference, it could have happened at any time. There is only so much we can do, sadly.

You are not responsible for her actions. I can imagine how much it must hurt but you are not to blame in anyway. I wish I had the words to make it better for you. Big hugs.

[Wild Coyote]

It was a blessing to your friend, I am sure, that you have cared so deeply. We cannot stop anyone truly wanting to take their own lives. There are always some we cannot always reach or have a major impact upon.

Please give yourself a break from guilt. We simply cannot make these decisions for others.


WC

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( whispershadow ))))))))

[Shazerac]

So sorry for the loss of your friend. Please try not to torture yourself with “what if” it’s not you fault you were asleep. If a person is determined to end their life there is nothing anyone can really do to prevent it.