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#1
Apr 10, 2018, 03:57 AM
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(content note for discussion of past suicidal ideation but no descriptions)
as I mentioned in another thread, I've recently started antidepressants and the good news is that I haven't experienced suicidal ideation since I've been on them, although side effects have been tough. this is kind of weird, but I've been feeling emotionally "lost" without suicidal ideation. I think it's just been part of my life for long enough that I accepted it as part of my identity, if that makes sense... I feel so guilty and ungrateful for feeling this way because I know lots of people struggle to get the medications they need. I'm not planning on stopping them. I'm such a bad person for this but I feel confused as if I just lost a part of me... 
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 Anonymous32891, avlady, RainyDay107, Wild Coyote
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#2
Apr 10, 2018, 04:30 AM
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Yes but you lost a bad part of you, think positive about it and know you are almost there!!!
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| RainyDay107, smallbluefish, Wild Coyote
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#3
Apr 10, 2018, 11:06 AM
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I can relate but as time goes on this becomes your new normal. It's a good place to be.
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| RainyDay107, smallbluefish, Wild Coyote
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#4
Apr 11, 2018, 08:40 AM
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Quote:
I cannot recall the point at which I no longer felt lost - it just happened. I spent far too much time in my life with ideation that it just didn't seem normal when it no longer was a factor. The feeling of loss is a good description for it. There was an empty vacuum because I suddenly had blank time on my hands. But trust me, one day you are just going to realise that, hey, there are thoughts that have come to fill the void. And a pleasant feeling that will be. |
| RainyDay107, smallbluefish, Wild Coyote
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#5
Apr 14, 2018, 04:24 AM
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Quote:
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#6
Apr 14, 2018, 04:25 AM
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Quote:
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#7
Apr 14, 2018, 04:26 AM
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Quote:
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#8
Apr 14, 2018, 10:11 AM
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I had the same experience. For me, I felt like I suddenly had a whole life ahead of me that I wasn't planning for. I thought I was on the way out and then suddenly I wasn't and had to be a real person again. This was just my experience but I believe it happens to a lot of people who once had ideation.
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| RainyDay107, smallbluefish
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#9
Apr 14, 2018, 11:02 AM
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I can relate. When I have ideations it consumes my whole life. Then when it’s gone there is a big hole in my day. I don’t miss it but it takes a while to readjust to the new me.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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| RainyDay107, smallbluefish
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#10
Apr 14, 2018, 11:13 AM
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(((((smallbluefish))))) I've been there myself with the suicidal thoughts and ideation, hang in there
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| RainyDay107, smallbluefish
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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