[Allorid800]

Hey everyone, don't know where else to reach out to, so I'm trying this forum. I'm 27, male, and currently unemployed. A year ago I got fired from one of the most stable jobs I've had that I've had for slightly over a year, and ever since, I've gone through job, after job, after job and been losing jobs mainly from being fired. Ever since I've been fired from the last stable job I've had a year ago, I've mainly been going to lots of different staffing/temp agencies to get a job fast (which the majority of times are nothing but warehouse or factory type of jobs) and get fired for the same stupid petty reasons, usually for not working fast enough or not meeting some kind of quota, not meeting expectations or some other really stupid petty ********. Other than that, everytime I work a job (and I've had tons of many different types jobs over the past many years) a problem that I have is the longer that I stay at a job the more and more I hate it and the more and more depressed I feel. There become things about the job itself that might either really, really bore me or really depress me and I start getting this really strong, heavy feeling of "Is this all that life is, just work a job to pay bills and then die and never really achieve your real dreams?" But the thing is, I don't quit, I keep going to the job anyway for the very obvious reasons of needing income for bills and money for the things you want but what happens is I always wind up getting fired. There are jobs that I have hated but have actually still tried to do well and still get fired because of not "meeting expectations" or whatever else. In life, I do have passions. I have a very strong passion and talent for music. Fortunately, I am in a band, we just got started several months ago and have already played a few live shows at venues and have been at studios to record some songs already. Other than that I do have my own solo music project of instrumental songs that I write and record that is mainly soundtrack and ambient music and instrumental music that's really avant-garde. Problem with that is, I don't know what to do with it other than post it online and play open mics at different places. My dream has always been to make it in music, be a well known music artist, have a lot of opportunities, travel to a lot of places because of your music, have alot of connections, tour with your band, and so on and so on and everything that comes with that type of life.


Really I'm just getting sick and tired of life and how things are overall. At this point I've been fired from so many jobs that I'm becoming extremely unmotivated, and the feelings of depression, feeling like a failure, feeling as if everyone is better than me and more established than me, and feeling like I haven't achieved my dreams is getting too overwhelming. I fear for my life, but at the same time I don't feel like taking any action. I hate waking up everyday because for the most part, I feel worthless and like nothing I do is going to matter anymore and feel as if I have nothing to look forward to outside of my friends or my band. Sometimes I've been struggling off and on with thoughts of death or suicide because I'm getting to a point where I see no way out. No job sounds good or sounds like a good option, and it seems like to apply almost anywhere at this point is a bad decision, but at the same time I know I have to do something soon or else I'll go broke. It really pisses me off how everything in life feels as if you have to work a depressing, monotonous, soul-sucking job and working terrible schedules that you hate to get the money that you absolutely NEED to keep living and surviving and keep yourself from going homeless. It feels like a lose/lose situation...work a job you hate and be miserable at your job working anywhere between 8-12 shifts, OR be unemployed and wind up going broke very quickly, and possibly face going homeless. I've been wondering if there's something wrong with me. It really angers me how everyone else in my age group (mid or late 20's) don't seem to have these problem, or seem to notice the things I notice or feel the things I feel. Everyone else really seems to be so happy and content with their lives, found their place in the world, everyone seems to know exactly what direction their life is headed, always bragging about their jobs, bragging about promotions and raises, having a wife and kids (if you want that sort of thing...I don't care about having a wife or kids nowhere near anytime soon) and basically just completely living their lives the way their life is supposed to be lived, and meanwhile I am literally jumping from job to job pretty much every month and constantly going through week after week, month after month worried about going completely broke, worrying about how I'm going to pay my bills, and constantly worried about the near future. I'm tired of feeling as if everyone else is better than me and no one else has these same concerns. I'm tired of feeling so lost, directionless, and worthless. Thanks to anyone who read this, I needed somewhere to let my thoughts out. Just wondering if anyone else has the same problems or have any suggestions.

[Wild Coyote]

Welcome to PC.

I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.
Please make yourself at home. Jump in wherever you feel led to do so.

Your first 5 posts are approved by a moderator before they appear. After 5 approved posts, you will also have access to chatrooms and to the Private Messaging (PM) system.

I hope to see you around the forums.

WC

[imaginethat]

Living with depression is hard. You need the support of people who are going through the same thing. For me, that's partially how I stay somewhat sane.

There's an organization called DBSA that holds in-person support groups and online support groups. You get to hear what others are going through, and they often have the same stories as you. It's comforting to not feel so alone. Here's a link to where you can find a group:

https://secure2.convio.net/dabsa/sit..._group_locator

Many people seem to have a fabulous life but have problems just like anyone else. I would try not to compare yourself to them. Especially people on Facebook. My god, posting all of those happy photos. I don't put much creedence in them.

Keep coming back. This group has been so helpful for me.

[kismetie]

For a second there, I thought I could have wrote this. I don't have any answers for you . . . as I am still figuring ***** out myself. It's good that you have a passion, though. I really wish I had more that I could say or offer you ): but I also feel very much at my ropes end.

Stick around on the site, hopefully you'll find it helpful, even if just a bit. I'm turning 26 next month and also hate my job. Every job I get, I end up despising. I always end up depressed and then quitting. Even the good job I'm at now. It's too stressful and not meant for me, but I'm determined to stay for at least a year (something I've never managed to do).

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

[Fuzzybear]

[MickeyCheeky]