[YoucancallmeFlower]

Examining Solutions and Making Decisions, Part II

SOLUTION: This one was pretty obvious. Just a matter of finding the
courage. But what the hell. I could have another heart attack. So my feet found their way to the VFW and on Monday I sign the paper work
for one more try. This one will be for a hearing. This time I get to speak for myself!!! So even if they turn me down again, I will be easy in my soul because this is the right decision.

My disastrous lair.
OMG. When I get sick or sink into depression, organization flies out the
window. I've been hospitalized six times in the past sixteen months and
every time it gets worse, because before I get well and get it all ship shape, I get sick again. And the last time I was in the hospital for two weeks. But I'm starting to feel good again, getting things done, though
I can't work for more than thirty minutes at a time.
I know from some of your posts that motivation is difficult for many when it comes to housework and depression.
So I asked myself what some of hardest jobs were and how to make
them easier. One was laundry. The one here is three stories down, in a
dark, bug infested dungeon. Carrying those heavy baskets, a dozen
trips up and down the steep stairs-yikes! The solution was a rent to own washer and dryer that don't need special hookups. The other was
dishes. A lot of you who were abused know about the slave syndrome.
I can remember the chair being pulled up to the kitchen sink so I could
wash the dishes at four.
SOLUTION: Plastic dishes! And cups. And silverware. I'm not trying to
impress anyone. And if not having to wash dishes makes it easier and
makes me happy-cool. I just buy them on sale.

THE DECISION:
I was homeless three years ago when I moved in here, so please don't
judge. It is a cramped, roach infested tenament and the only thing I could afford where I could have my cat. I hate it and want to move back to the town and the state I was living in when my husband died. But it would take me a year to save the money. I can't live here for another year. It's not the bugs or the antiquidated plumbing and heating, or even
the drug dealers and convicts. It's not even the horrible slumlord who is
always telling everyone how crazy I am.
It's just time. And I deserve to live somewhere nice. So I made the
decision. I'm moving. As soon as I made that decision I found a website
of apartments and homes that allow pets! I am so happy with this
decision. I'll be cleaning and packing at the same time!

One more Decision: This one was easy. I'm a nice person so people
tend to try and take advantage of that. But "I'm sorry, I don't have..."
any money, a cigarette, a cup of milk...is my new mantra.

And I was trying to quit smoking until I realized it was depressing the
F out of me. I don't recommend it.

This took forever to write but if anyone finds it beneficial, it was worth it. I've got stuff to do...