Please like me :(

mulan · May 23, 2018, 07:19 PM

Life is hard. Vulnerability feelings are painful. From everywhere I feel hate, criticism or possible danger.
These thoughts get stucked in my head and I feel small, so small.
Some are true some don't. But one thing I am sure, I don't believe people can love me unconditionally.

Fuzzybear · May 23, 2018, 07:29 PM

I like you

((((((( Mulan )))))))

CepheidVariable · May 23, 2018, 10:14 PM

I like you too.

(Please don't be afraid of little ol' me.

)

Sunflower123 · May 23, 2018, 10:28 PM

I also like you.

No hate, criticism or danger here.

May 24, 2018, 01:04 AM

I like you too. Hugs

mulan · May 24, 2018, 06:09 AM

My sister is a bully pdoc (for me). I am not the cause of her problems, why does she blames everything on me?
I didn't help her, she does everything I do nothing, I am the reason she slept badly... I have the right to breath (!)... I am sorry the way I breath, the way I eat, the way I move annoys you, but I have the right to exist. Stop toutching your skin, stop touching your head/face, don't make that noise while breathing, breath from your mouth, I don't see you do anything, you haven't done anything, do this do that, shut up, why do you have to talk...
It makes me sad and I tell her, but she doesn't listen to me.

What is wrong with my family (parents and sister) that wants me to follow their rules unconditionaly while being my own person and having initiative? They are incompatible.

Sister is only a year and a half older than me, but she thinks of herself as my mother.

MickeyCheeky · May 24, 2018, 06:16 AM

Rohag · May 24, 2018, 02:27 PM

((((((( Mulan )))))))

May you soon gain some independence from your...tormentors.

Fuzzybear · May 24, 2018, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rohag

((((((( Mulan )))))))

May you soon gain some independence from your...tormentors.

I was thinking the same thing... sister sounds very toxic, mother too

And they remind me in several ways of my “family”

I understand the idea of loyalty to family. For me personally, I was very loyal. And after many many years... never mind

cryingontheinside · May 24, 2018, 02:55 PM

That sounds like bullying . You don't deserve this . We are here for you

Quote:

Originally Posted by mulan

My sister is a bully pdoc (for me). I am not the cause of her problems, why does she blames everything on me?
I didn't help her, she does everything I do nothing, I am the reason she slept badly... I have the right to breath (!)... I am sorry the way I breath, the way I eat, the way I move annoys you, but I have the right to exist. Stop toutching your skin, stop touching your head/face, don't make that noise while breathing, breath from your mouth, I don't see you do anything, you haven't done anything, do this do that, shut up, why do you have to talk...
It makes me sad and I tell her, but she doesn't listen to me.

What is wrong with my family (parents and sister) that wants me to follow their rules unconditionaly while being my own person and having initiative? They are incompatible.

Sister is only a year and a half older than me, but she thinks of herself as my mother.

Fuzzybear · May 24, 2018, 02:56 PM

Bullying .. indeed. ........

May 24, 2018, 03:16 PM

I like you, mulan

mulan · May 24, 2018, 03:53 PM

If sister saw I wrote this she would be tremendously sad. Not mad with me, but sad.
It's strange, because I am the one who cheers her up when she is sad and I don't want to make her sad.

Family goes from love to hate in a matter of seconds. In fact they never showed much affection (the expression of love in my family is concern for physical well-being).
Blaming my family on my issues is very divisive for me.

My mother and sister and father are not bad people, but...
Brother is annoying, childish and imature, not an easy person either, not someone you want to have a disagreement with, if that happens you should be certain you will never win whether you are right or wrong; he has fun contradicting others and saying provoking stuff, he feels many small things as personal atacks and he defends himself blaming others and you have to give him all the reason or he won't shut up; he almost only does what he wants even when you ask him multiple times for a favor; he pretends to be deaf on porpuse... I excuse him as I normaly do with people, I know that many times insisting calmly with him is the best approach or listening to his rants about something I don't care; sister reprimends this aproach of mine multiple times (stop talking to him, send him away, don't laugh on his jokes, don't help him, ignore him - bully sister version too).

Fuzzybear · May 24, 2018, 03:58 PM

((((((( Mulan )))))))

I don’t think it’s as simple as “blame”

It does sound like there is some love in your family, I’m happy for you

Your sister being sad rather than mad would reflect well on her

mulan · May 24, 2018, 04:06 PM

On the other day sister was about to not let me go to sleep because she was finishing some work and I must needed to stay with her. She was about to acusing me of lefting her alone because she too wanted to sleep too but couldn't because of some internet search so I must needed to show solidarity.
This time I ignored her and her acusations, but this is what she does and I normally obey or accept the lecture.