[Fuzzybear]

How would you describe your experience of depression (anyone is welcome to reply but please no talk about meds as I can’t take those (allergies)

[marvin_pa]

Simultaneously enlightening and ruddy awful.
It's part of what I am, but makes life so much harder than it need be.

[puzzclar]

I never knew it what it was called at first, it was a big mystery. Now it's like someone framing my battery towards empty.

[SorryShaped]

My experiences with depression have been like trying to figure out why and simultaneously wanting it to take away without reason

[Candy1955]

Oddly there are times when I don't want help. I really just want to crawl into a dark cool hole and hide.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by Candy1955

Oddly there are times when I don't want help. I really just want to crawl into a dark cool hole and hide.

Quick cross talk;
That's not odd. It's really very common

[DP_2017]

A life long rollercoaster.

Somedays I am ok and able to function, somedays I never wanna leave my bad and just sleep forever.

[ShadowGX]

Unpredictable is how I would describe mine. I can wake up just fine and ready to greet the day, but then I see or hear something and then a bad thought pops into my head and the entire day is suddenly ruined. I do my best to keep myself distracted because of that. Other times I have a dream that triggers thoughts or just wake up and am immediately thinking about sad things and so the whole day is ruined from the start. Some days are ok though, those are generally the days I can successfully get out of bed before sad thoughts come and keep myself distracted the most of the day.

For me it’s questioning life in general. Why are we all here and what’s it all really about. Why do so many horrible things happen every day in this world. That sort of thing.

[MtnTime2896]

Lonely. Even people around me who also suffer from depression, they think I need to follow their treatment plan cause it works so well. No one seems to understand that I'm not them and never will be. People also seem to assume I'm lazy and I'm a piece of **** for not working. Gee, thanks, it's not like I don't already feel that way. I feel that way so strong that I lie and say I'm working under the table for a friend, I leave and go to my friend's house to just be miserable there until I'm "done with the job". Not working in my family (no matter what the mental health situation is) is the mother of all sin. And my fiance wonders why I'm so put off about getting disability, an even greater sin because they call "those people" leeches. So, yeah, lonely feels about right. Misunderstood would be another.

[mote.of.soul]

For me, it feels like anything good inside me and in the world has gone, been crushed, cut off and replaced with hate, sadness, despondency, hopelessness. A great brick wall built up and around me. Even the right words to say to people disappears. Just awfulness and, yes, the desire to make it stop begins to enter my mind again - and it's all one big tiring, inner battle. It's ridiculous, but there it is Fuzzy.

Like mote.of.soul my depression also feels like one big, tiring inner battle and as if a great brick wall has been built up and around me and I can't move. I have no interest in doing anything, no hobbies, not even watching tv. Going out of the house and at times getting out of the bed and doing simple self-care things like taking a shower and brushing teeth seem like a chore - I want to hide the whole day in my bed and not face the world. There are times when it seems as if I m sinking into the hell hole.