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#1
Jun 08, 2018, 10:40 PM
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...was.
I started the day feeling pretty good for once. I had gaming plans with a buddy, a new single player game as backup, and my favorite streamer had a surprise reveal stream planned. Early morning I enjoyed a nice iced coffee, it was amazing. The nectarines were amazing as well. Had a nice chat with my buddy. Ended up that we rescheduled for tomorrow, no biggy though because of everything else I had that I could do. Then it happened. I was watching the aforementioned streamer and there was a bit of a break in action. I had a candle lit next to me because I quite enjoy the smell of it. During the break in action I decided to pick up and look at the candle like I sometimes do, it's not the first time. This time though it triggered something in me. Initially it made me feel comfy and warm inside to look at it, as it normally does. That only lasted about 30 seconds, then suddenly all of these horrible thoughts filled my brain about how lonely I am and how I'm going to die alone and there's nothing I can do about it, why bother with this friend because he'll leave too, etc. I've spent the last few hours trying to fight the thoughts but now I'm bored with nothing to do (that I want to do anyways) and I decided to try to go to sleep because I do feel tired. I can't stop the thoughts though. Decided to try posting here to vent and see if that helps since I don't have anyone to bother right now and even if I did I don't feel like burdening them. But hey, that's what this place is for, right? Sure, we'll go with that. |
 Anonymous40127, Anonymous44144, Candy1955, clp9922, Fuzzybear, marvin_pa, mote.of.soul, Skeezyks, Tryingtoheal77
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#2
Jun 09, 2018, 01:31 PM
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Sorry to hear things went downhill for you after such a promising start to your day.
 I know how this sort of thing can happen though. You're feeling pretty darned good for a change &, suddenly, something just knocks the wind out of you.  Are you familiar with the practice of compassionate abiding? It's my personal all-purpose remedy for anxiety, intrusive thoughts, sudden & unexpected onslaughts of depression, & self doubt / loathing, you name it.  Here's a link to a description of the practice:https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/  
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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#3
Jun 10, 2018, 10:45 AM
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__________________
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| Anonymous44144, ShadowGX
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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