what's their really to say...

today in the UK is father's day

never met my father, so can't really take part in today

feel bad because so many people are sending flowers and cards to their fathers, and all the tv comercials are making a big thing of it too,.

I just wish I had a father sometimes.... I guess.

it would make today easier to cope with

[ShadowGX]

I have a father but he was so horrible to me I have a hard time being around him even though he hasn't hurt me in years. He's a huge part of why I'm messed up. He's never apologized or done anything to try to make amends. I get him gifts at Christmas because my parents do for me (though if my mom died that would stop I'm sure), both my brothers do for them, and since I'm an adult I feel that's the social norm I must stick to in order to keep the peace. I don't get him anything for his birthday or father's day though. I'm only saying "happy father's day" this year because coincidentally it's laundry day so I need to go over there anyways and it might be weird for me to go there and not say it. I try to appear normal when I can.

Originally Posted by ShadowGX

I have a father but he was so horrible to me I have a hard time being around him even though he hasn't hurt me in years. He's a huge part of why I'm messed up. He's never apologized or done anything to try to make amends. I get him gifts at Christmas because my parents do for me (though if my mom died that would stop I'm sure), both my brothers do for them, and since I'm an adult I feel that's the social norm I must stick to in order to keep the peace. I don't get him anything for his birthday or father's day though. I'm only saying "happy father's day" this year because coincidentally it's laundry day so I need to go over there anyways and it might be weird for me to go there and not say it. I try to appear normal when I can.

I am sorry shadow

I have a situation like yours.. but with my mother.

like your father, my mother was (is?) extremely abusive/ horrible to me, so we don't talk- in fact she emigrated to another country, just so she could get away from me.

though we don't talk (because it's damaging), I do sometimes email her happy christmas/ or happy birthday, even happy mothers day

all I get in response is,

" shut up"

I know where I'm not wanted

[ShadowGX]

That's horrible. >.< At least my mom tries... She was emotionally abusive when I was younger, but now that I'm an adult she's said sorry and has tried to make up for it and I've forgiven her. Still, a lot of the pain lingers, and most of my issues are still with dad.

Father's Day doesn't mean anything to me. My father passed away 20 years ago. My friend is 21 years older than me and it seems like he has taken on my father's roll for me. He reminds me so much of my father in a lot of ways, both good and bad. The good is that he can help me out financially like my father did. I don't rely in him much for that. One thing he does better than what my father did was that he would listen and sympathize with me when I feel down. The bad thing that my friend reminds me of my late Dad is that he can be critical like my father was. Yesterday, my friend mentioned to me that's it's Father's Day and how he remembered me comparing him to my late father.

I am not a Dad myself. I never had any kids and never will. I may be wrong, but it seems like there's more attention to Mother's Day than Father's Day.

Originally Posted by ShadowGX

That's horrible. >.< At least my mom tries... She was emotionally abusive when I was younger, but now that I'm an adult she's said sorry and has tried to make up for it and I've forgiven her. Still, a lot of the pain lingers, and most of my issues are still with dad.

a lot of the pain will linger.

takes a long time to heal from that kind of trauma... some people never do.