[anna2468]

So my struggles with alcoholism began shortly after turning 21. I turned 23 this April. This problem has been expedited in the last year due to personal reasons. I've recently started thinking that I need to drink to feel any emotion. I can't feel sadness or happiness or empathy unless I'm drunk. So I've drank every day for the last 6 months.
I don't want to drink forever, but I don't want to be numb forever either.
I've been on around 15 different antidepressants in the last 5 years, to no avail. Alcohol is my only comfort.

I wonder if I'll ever be okay. With no close friends, no close family, no stable income or living situation, $45,000 in college loan debt, and no drive to keep going, I'm doubtful if I'll make it.

The worst part is, I can't even feel sad about this. I'm too numb.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by anna2468

no drive to keep going
can't even feel sad about this

In many ways, those are the worst.

Anna, did you finish college/university? (No need to answer.)

[Wild Coyote]

I had Depression, anxiety, c-PTSD symptoms while a child/teen and I never thought I would make it this far in life. I am now middle-aged. I don't know how I have made it this far and am not sure about tomorrow or next week.

I have made it by getting through each day... hour-by-hour.


WC

[Fuzzybear]