I am so sick of hearing this phrase. People always say it's a selfish thing for a person to kill themselves, leaving people behind to "grieve". Well, isn't it selfish to expect a person to "stick around" on this earth when they are NOT happy with this life?! Seriously! I am done!

[sugarbeeMe]

I thought it was selfish until I was there. Now I understand the extraordinary feelings of pain, self-loathing and hopelessness. I am disappointed that it took my personal experience to have empathy or understanding of the intense pain.
But, that being said, it is important to acknowledge the heart break of those left behind. It will be a lifelong experience they will never get over.

Suicide is not selfish. Its death caused by depression. No different than any other illness. You fight your best, but not everyone survives.

When I get depressed it's like treading deep water. Its manageable for a time and then it gets exhausting. Drowning isnt selfish.

[sugarbeeMe]

Ok but other people don’t truly understand that. I’m sorry if you are struggling right now. I know it was unbearable. I know that exhaustion. I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t. But was pulled to that very dark place so I can see your point that it is not selfish. But others won’t understand.

It's not selfish IF you have tried everything possible to get treated. I've lost many friends and fa

I guess grief is much harder to deal with the loss of a loved one as apposed to a treatable condition.

It's a double edged sword if we condone it.

Originally Posted by StarGazer28

I am so sick of hearing this phrase. People always say it's a selfish thing for a person to kill themselves, leaving people behind to "grieve". Well, isn't it selfish to expect a person to "stick around" on this earth when they are NOT happy with this life?! Seriously! I am done!

I like your signature

[MickeyCheeky]

It's not selfish It's an extreme solution to a problem...

When I think about it, I find suicide as a solution to all problem, that in turn takes away whatever happiness you could have found for the rest of the life. It's like bargaining with the devil, you get your wish granted, you fast-forward to the point where you don't have to feel any more pain -- which would have eventually come anyway -- BUT it takes away whatever happiness that was left for you in future. It also means you lose the shot you were given to life.

In my case, yes I don't want to live either, it was a very complicated mixture of suffering and talent. I am brilliant. I am Doctor Strange. My infantile injury took away my potential career as a doctor. I had the wrong genetic makeup in the first place. My parents were related before their marriage. Later my dad threw me on a wall. Later my pre-primary teacher stuffed me in a bag. Later my mom taught me wrong ideas of the world, telling me the outside world is evil and I shouldn't go outside except for school and I shouldn't have friends. She later beat me up for selfish reasons till I vomit, like I refusing to come home from vacation. Because she wanted a government job (she never got one) and she thought I would be wasting her time, our time, with our relatives.

I do not have dissociative identity disorder, I have a neurobiological abnormality in me. But if my brain wasn't damaged at such an early age, I would have had dissociative identity disorder, which is thought to be caused due to extreme childhood abuse...

With parents who don't know the first thing about parenting, it was the end of my career and my life and my happiness before I was even born. I am broken now. I am trying to get into med school but my psych doc has told me it will be of no use. I don't want to turn things around or save the world anymore, I just want the suffering to end. You see, I am a lot of things, a neurotic, a psychotic, a failed friend, a never-will-be father, a never-meant-to-be husband, a burden, an annoyance, a waste of time. "A waste of time" isn't just my opinion, it's how teachers treat me, because they know I am crazy and I don't have a future due to my brain damage. I won't tell you how they found out.

Would you call my suicide as a selfish act? Of course not. I don't have anyone depending on me. My parents are crazy, they want me to be a class one officer... ridiculous, only next to me being an army officer. I wanted to do something related to science, like medicine or computer programming, but I didn't have a single decision in my life that made me happy, why should I ask for luxuries like career choice?

Suicide isn't a selfish act, it's sometimes the only hope, the only way to end suffering as quickly as possible. This comes from a brain damage patient.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

When I think about it, I find suicide as a solution to all problem, that in turn takes away whatever happiness you could have found for the rest of the life. It's like bargaining with the devil, you get your wish granted, you fast-forward to the point where you don't have to feel any more pain -- which would have eventually come anyway -- BUT it takes away whatever happiness that was left for you in future. It also means you lose the shot you were given to life.

In my case, yes I don't want to live either, it was a very complicated mixture of suffering and talent. I am brilliant. I am Doctor Strange. My infantile injury took away my potential career as a doctor. I had the wrong genetic makeup in the first place. My parents were related before their marriage. Later my dad threw me on a wall. Later my pre-primary teacher stuffed me in a bag. Later my mom taught me wrong ideas of the world, telling me the outside world is evil and I shouldn't go outside except for school and I shouldn't have friends. She later beat me up for selfish reasons till I vomit, like I refusing to come home from vacation. Because she wanted a government job (she never got one) and she thought I would be wasting her time, our time, with our relatives.

I do not have dissociative identity disorder, I have a neurobiological abnormality in me. But if my brain wasn't damaged at such an early age, I would have had dissociative identity disorder, which is thought to be caused due to extreme childhood abuse...

With parents who don't know the first thing about parenting, it was the end of my career and my life and my happiness before I was even born. I am broken now. I am trying to get into med school but my psych doc has told me it will be of no use. I don't want to turn things around or save the world anymore, I just want the suffering to end. You see, I am a lot of things, a neurotic, a psychotic, a failed friend, a never-will-be father, a never-meant-to-be husband, a burden, an annoyance, a waste of time. "A waste of time" isn't just my opinion, it's how teachers treat me, because they know I am crazy and I don't have a future due to my brain damage. I won't tell you how they found out.

Would you call my suicide as a selfish act? Of course not. I don't have anyone depending on me. My parents are crazy, they want me to be a class one officer... ridiculous, only next to me being an army officer. I wanted to do something related to science, like medicine or computer programming, but I didn't have a single decision in my life that made me happy, why should I ask for luxuries like career choice?

Suicide isn't a selfish act, it's sometimes the only hope, the only way to end suffering as quickly as possible. This comes from a brain damage patient.

I demand to know what drugs you're on rite now.

I am on risperidone, aripiprazole, divalproex sodium and a betablocker whose constituents are - Amlodipine and atenolol.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I am on risperidone, aripiprazole, divalproex sodium and a betablocker whose constituents are - Amlodipine and atenolol.

2nd and Final question;
Any illicit drugs?..

Nope. I am not in position to do that.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

Nope. I am not in position to do that.

From all the posts I have seen you write, you seem to be a pretty rational person; able compose your thoughts well. I am sure you would be capable of obtaining the career of your dreams.

[Candy1955]

I don't know if suicide is selfish or not. But I DO KNOW 100% is that absolutely NONE of us know what is on the other side. I can't tell you it is better or the pain is gone or you are better off dead. It's a choice, no more, no less. It's not noble, and it is a lifelong nightmare for those left behind, or those who find you. I choose to live every minute of this life. It is the only one I will ever have.

Originally Posted by Candy1955

I don't know if suicide is selfish or not. But I DO KNOW 100% is that absolutely NONE of us know what is on the other side. I can't tell you it is better or the pain is gone or you are better off dead. It's a choice, no more, no less. It's not noble, and it is a lifelong nightmare for those left behind, or those who find you. I choose to live every minute of this life. It is the only one I will ever have.

We can agree-to-disagree about not knowing what's on the "other side".

I do agree though that suicide is not a "noble" thing. I know there would be those left behind that would be horrified. Perhaps, that is the one thing leaving me on this earth.

[88Butterfly88]

I don't think suicide is selfish. However, that being said, I don't think it's the answer. If you are thinking about suicide please call a crisis line.

https://www.befrienders.org/

Originally Posted by StarGazer28

From all the posts I have seen you write, you seem to be a pretty rational person; able compose your thoughts well. I am sure you would be capable of obtaining the career of your dreams.

I cannot if my 45 year old mom is spying literally on the neighbor next door, sure that her 57 year old husband (my dad) is cheating on her. So much she attempts suicide 3 times a day just to attract attention. Even the neighbors are going crazy, and I have been crazy since my dad threw me on the wall, when I was three months old. Later I was asphyxiated and isolated and then abused and then neglected ...

I have brain damage now, so much people believe I am a joke. I don't want to live like this, I am finding myself either wanting to ride a Classic 350 with friends I can only imagine of, or dying alone doing nothing for the rest of my life. I haven't done anything productive in my life, teachers yell at me in lab because of my incompetency.

As a child I used to cry (as sad people do) while laughing. Never found out what that means.

Originally Posted by StarGazer28

I am so sick of hearing this phrase. People always say it's a selfish thing for a person to kill themselves, leaving people behind to "grieve". Well, isn't it selfish to expect a person to "stick around" on this earth when they are NOT happy with this life?! Seriously! I am done!

thank you for posting this thread.

it is a topic that I feel strongly about and is close to my heart (and I could talk about this all afternoon if you let me)

for now, I'll just say that everyone has their reasons.

as for the whole thing about it being selfish leaving people behind, their are 2 things people need to think about:

1 is, what about people with nobody?

and the second one is, if a person really loved them, would they not understand?

it might be hard and it might be upsetting for them, but they would understand.

suicide is a sign of people that have been trying too long and things arn't working for them.

remember that

to add to that, I don't think anyone " chooses suicide"
it's not like people say.. I want to be selfish, I want to take my life

it's a natural reaction to extreme circumstances

not a choice

well that's how I see it anyway- feel free to disagree

I think suicide is the only solution (that can be fun) to otherwise boring and scary life. Now as I am thinking about drinking the whole bottle of betablocker syrup this night when everybody is asleep, I think it's gonna be fun on the other side.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I think suicide is the only solution (that can be fun) to otherwise boring and scary life. Now as I am thinking about drinking the whole bottle of betablocker syrup this night when everybody is asleep, I think it's gonna be fun on the other side.

I know this is going to sound like the "pot calling the kettle black" but if you're seriously planning on doing that, maybe you ought to go to the ER.

Originally Posted by TheLonelyChemist

I think suicide is the only solution (that can be fun) to otherwise boring and scary life. Now as I am thinking about drinking the whole bottle of betablocker syrup this night when everybody is asleep, I think it's gonna be fun on the other side.

Still no illicit drugs?

Originally Posted by StarGazer28

I know this is going to sound like the "pot calling the kettle black" but if you're seriously planning on doing that, maybe you ought to go to the ER.

I cannot drive. If I could, it wouldn't be this bad. After I go to the ER, what I am going to explain, that my life is slowly being ruined?

I know suicide planning posts aren't allowed here, but **** has gone too far. Mom is telling me I cannot even use computer now... for the same reason they don't let me go outside, I may become "spoiled" in their words. I told her to shove her "hard work " that she "did for me" up her ... this afternoon.

This thread is now about Bread.