Horribly depressed about my life situation

I was going to title this topic "Depressed because of my job situation" but the truth is while that's a big part of it, it's still only part.

I've been out of work for nine months now. Last October I up and quit a terrible job because I absolutely could not stand it anymore. I was making less than $24K a year and I decided (or perhaps realized is a better word) that the tremendous stress wasn't worth the damage to my health. My plan, of course, was to find a new job within a month or so, tops. Instead, here I am. I interviewed for something last December that I didn't get; I applied for something a few weeks ago with the same company and this time I didn't even get an interview. I have burned through savings, my tax refund, a (small) 401K and am now going to have to dip into another, larger 401K.

They say you're not supposed to worry but I have been worrying for years about my financial situation. It scares me because it seems like in order to retire you need to have several hundred thousands of dollars saved up, and even then it's not enough. I hear news stories about old people who lose $100K to a scam or a bad investment and all I can think of is, "If you have that much money, isn't that enough? Why would you risk it trying to make even more?!" I feel like if I had $100K I would be set for life. Invest enough to get a monthly dividend check and relax.

One of my reassurances to myself is that, "People wind up broke all the time, because of divorce, or freak accidents, or bad insurance, etc., and they bounce back, so why can't I?" It helps sometimes and sometimes it doesn't. Let me explain.

So now that I know I'm not going to get an interview, I decided the best thing to do was to look at going back to school and getting a degree or certification so I can do a specific job. So I went and looked at an article about the best degrees to get to find employment. You see, I already have a BA degree that seems useful only as a paperweight.

Anyway, this article had some stats that literally provoked an anxiety attack in me. It said the average income for someone with a Bachelor's degree is $61K, while the average for someone who only graduated high school is $37K. I was astounded. The most I have ever made at a job was $15/hour, or a little over $31K. (And that job I only had for about two months due to a BS government bureaucratic snafu that was 100% NOT my fault.)

When I read that stat I became so upset that I almost started crying. My whole adult life I have been absolutely scraping by. The average I have made over the years has been about $11/hour. Now I'm being told that I make less than someone who only went to high school?! I am completely lost. All my life growing up I was told by my parents I had to go to college because that was how you succeeded in life. So I went to college and got a degree and it's gotten me nowhere. When I was married my wife was always complaining that there were jobs in her company she felt she was qualified for but couldn't get because she didn't have a degree. Well I have a degree and 95% of the time I can't even get an interview! I worked at one company where there were all sorts of people who didn't have a degree, but started in an entry-level job like data entry and moved up the ladder. Well I went and worked in data entry for a year and a half and, once again, most of the time I applied for something I couldn't even get an interview. There was another profession I worked in for four years. I left that profession and after a while I decided to go back to it just because I was sick of being turned down for interviews because I didn't have experience. Once again, 95% of the time I can't get an interview! Then one time I was finally offered a job in that field. They wanted me to move to another state, to a remote, rural area where I would not have known anyone except my co-workers... for $11 an hour. I turned it down.

I am so frustrated right now that I am fighting back tears. I just want to go stand on a building somewhere and scream at the top of my lungs, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?! I CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO DO, JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE! TELL ME WHAT TO DO AND I'LL DO IT!!" A high school graduate is supposed to be able to make $37K a year? I would do anything to make $37K a year. What am I supposed to have done that I'm not doing?! Can anybody tell me?!

I feel like life is a waste of time at this point. It's like my life is a game of Scrabble and all I ever get is one letter that I'm supposed to make up words with, and then everyone says, "Well he can't make a triple word score with one letter, he's not even worth looking at." People say I can't give up, but I feel like I'm so far behind in the race that reaching the goal line is all but impossible at this point. What did I miss? Where did I make this wrong turn that doomed me to a life of scraping for pennies?

Some say that life isn't about how much money you have, money can't buy happiness, etc. There's a big difference between not being able to keep up with the Joneses and barely covering your rent. I don't know what to do anymore.

Ick, I'd kill for a $37k job too. I don't have a degree, but I do have certification required for my current job. I wonder what jobs these people have that they make that much... I only make ~$15k, but luckily rent in my area isn't so bad so I've managed to be on my own for 3 years now.

I don't really have any advice to offer unfortunately. =/ I've heard trade skills are in demand and supposedly pay decently, so I wonder if those would be worth looking into? Some even do paid training. Of course availability would depend on your specific location too.

Also, the people who say "money doesn't buy happiness" have never been in a position of not having any. Sure, it can't buy you things like good friends and love, but the peace of mind that having enough money to live comfortably offers is undeniable.

Just off the top of my head i'd say that nowadays long term costly training for a specific job may not be the right way to go. Who knows what jobs in the future may be computerised/ robotised and the employee left redundant. Having said that certain things will always be in demand like trade skills. The way to go is probably to have a portfolio of job skills and income streams. Take a good, hard look at yourself and what you can do or learn to do. You don't need a high income to be content with life. But you do need to pay the bills unless you go off grid and become self sufficient, which people do. So life becomes an attitude of mind.

Actually that's another part of it that I didn't get into. There were two separate jobs I was looking into - one being stenographer/court reporter, and the other I don't recall at the moment - where the outlook information said that while both are in demand right now, they may also be replaced by automation within the next decade or two... so I wonder if it's even worth it?! Ugh...

Also I was going through some papers today and found two $50 savings bonds that I got from my grandparents 28 years ago. I thought, "Wow, these oughta be worth plenty by now!" So I went to the U.S. Treasury website and plugged in the serial numbers. Between the two bonds, they are now worth $192. They haven't even doubled in value. (Which is not to say I'm not grateful that my grandparents gave them to me, it just doesn't seem like much of a return on investment.)

We pretty much all got lied to. I have a friend under 30 years old with a masters in social work. She is making 31K but has 60K in loans. Luckily she’s single with no kids just a cat. But has to work two jobs just to pay bills. I was making 32K with just my bachelors. I lived in the same area at the time. I live in another state now. Teachers in my state only make 31K. Many are leaving and going to Texas for 50K. I’m thinking about going back to get my masters and moving to Texas.

As I was reading your response, I was thinking, "This person must live in Oklahoma?" Then I looked over at the left side of the screen with your info and there it was.

I could go off on this situation... I knew several people in college who went on to become teachers so it angers me when I hear people complain about teachers. I sure wouldn't want to do it. (And yet for some reason, several people have told me they think I'd make a good teacher. Maybe if I could do adult education, but put me in a room full of kids and I wouldn't last long.)

The thing is I know plenty of people I went to school with who have gone on to interesting, satisfying careers, and I just don't understand what wrong turn I took along the way. I don't need to make a lot of money, but I'd at least like to be able to buy a house and go on a trip once in a while, you know?

Now a friend of mine who is a cop in a major city is urging me to apply for a job there as a 911 operator. I asked why they would want to hire me when I don't even live there, and he said they have a lot of trouble finding people with perfectly clean records, which I fortunately have. It would pay $20/hour, but I don't know if I could handle the stress. Aye carumba...