Confused?

I've been getting confused a lot, lately. The people talking to me in my head don't want me to say anything. I think I may be paranoid, but what if what they're telling me is true? What if they're forcing these meds my way to brainwash me? What if they're all just studying me for some malicious purpose?

I keep telling myself they wouldn't do that to me. My mom wouldn't do that to me. What if she's not really my mom? What if she's just a simulation? Maybe it's all a simulation?

On top of that, I'm hearing everyone talk behind my back. I can't always make out what they're saying, but I know it's about me. I'm feeling stomach sick now, which leads me to believe that someone may be poisoning my food.

Again, I keep telling myself that none of this is real and it's my paranoia speaking. The thing is, I don't necessarily believe myself, either. Maybe the brainwashing has already corrupted me enough so that I'm less likely to fight back and figure it all out.

I don't know what to do about this.

That's some deep thinking going on.

I would backtrack the last few days and see if something's changed, meds, hydrated, food etc and if I can't figure it out myself, I go and see a doctor.

I get confused all of the time.

As for being paranoid, you need to ignore what know, and trust a professional.

Take care

I think the voices are telling you not to trust your meds, because they know if you take them they will go away and you will be better off. Your mom and doctor know what's best for you.

i agree with down and lonely.

Hi So Leigheas, I'm in agreement with everyone else on this thread. What you're going through right now sounds really rough. Let's say your best friend was experiencing the exact type of paranoia that you're experiencing. What would you say to him or her...would you suggest that she speak with her pdoc? I know that I would tell a friend to check in with her pdoc, especially if it sounded like that friend was expending an enormous amount of energy struggling with her thoughts.

Listen to your mom and doctor.

((((stay_strong_Só leigheas))))

I'm hearing what you guys are saying, I really am. It's just that I'm not used to someone having to make decisions for me. And I don't like it. I think I'm more than capable of taking care of myself. At the same time, I don't know which side of my brain to trust. I'm confused, and like now I'm very anxious about everything. I hate this.

I am sorry, what you are experiencing sounds really hard. I have been saying that exact thing lately, that I don't know which of my brain to trust. I have actually been having these battles in my mind it feels like, where I am trying to override an irrational side of my brain with the healthy side, then the irrational side finds a way to sneak in right when I think I have it under control. It is scary and disorienting. I agree with everyone else that says to trust your pdoc, though, as much as it is hard to have others make decisions for you. I hope you feel better.

So maybe YOU DECIDE to trust the part that says trust your doctor and your mom, and all of us who love you. You are so dear to me; I have seen you struggle tremendously for the last 4 months and I am pulling for you with all my heart. Stay in this fight; don't give up.