[James0805]

My med doctor recently re-diagnosed me with major depression.

Not a day goes by when I can't believe I am in my late 40's. I really haven't done anything with my life. I am really bummed about all this. It feels like I have very little time left to accomplish anything. It all went by so fast. Please help me. Any words of encouragement would be gold to me. Thank you so much.

James

[ArcheM]

I guess there's the fact that you potentially have 30 to 40 years still ahead of you (and who even knows, maybe some medical advances will extend that in the near future). It's up to you, how you're going to spend them. I mean, one person I find inspiring is Christopher Lee who, I think, got into recording metal albums in his late 80s... And, of course, my granddad who was quite active on his own farm, which he started after he retired, well into his 70s. The point is, you don't necessarily have to be limited by an aging body, and many people seem to completely reinvent themselves mentally from time to time. Although I obviously can't speak with any authority, being much younger. But you have asked.

I’ll be frank, I’m now paying the price for neglecting my health in earlier years...I’d like to think we can gain many benefits in getting older (I’m in my early 40s) like you, the prospect of aging is looming. I don’t wish to minimise this for one second, however, each day, hour, etc, is another chance for us to turn things around, in order for us to be who we wanted and are meant to bex

((Peace))

[Winterbritt]

Hi James,

I had depression through my twenties. I used to cry on every single birthday because I felt like life had passed me by. I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Crying when you turn 23 because you feel like life's wasted seems pretty silly, right? I'm 32 now and I am not depressed anymore. And my birthday is my favorite day of the year.

My point is that depression lies to you, and it is a very convincing liar. It doesn't matter how old you are or how much time you have left if you believe time is running out. The idea that time is running out is just a belief. And since it makes you suffer and keeps you trapped in depression, it's a false belief.

Depression leaves you with all kinds of false beliefs that make you suffer. And you can identify them and then question them and see that they're false. And then you can purposely systematically replace them with nicer beliefs.

I did it by making lists. I have several lists that I make every night before I go to bed. And it has absolutely changed my entire world.

What if you wrote down a happy memory every night? And wrote down something you're excited about every night? Even if you don't feel happy or feel excited? What if you purposely exercise that ability by forcing your mind to go there?

For me it rediscovered those parts of my mind, and over the course of a couple of months it changed my thought patterns. It retrains you. Instead of searching around for ways you're out of time, your mind will start searching around for the joys in the future and the purpose in the past. You find the evidence you're looking for. So start asking your brain to look for something new.

Your mind will do what you tell it to do if you keep kindly nudging it in the right direction.

What do you think about trying that?

[Sunflower123]

((((Hugs))))

[Skeezyks]

I don't know as I have any particular words of encouragement I can offer. (I'm pushing 70!) But I wanted to simply leave a quick reply letting you know I read your post & I wish you well...

[Apollite]

Originally Posted by James0805

My med doctor recently re-diagnosed me with major depression.

Not a day goes by when I can't believe I am in my late 40's. I really haven't done anything with my life. I am really bummed about all this. It feels like I have very little time left to accomplish anything. It all went by so fast. Please help me. Any words of encouragement would be gold to me. Thank you so much.

James

I feel the same as you do and I'm in my 30's - I'm dreading turning 40! Opportunities to succeed diminish as you age and I feel as though most things are geared towards the young. Logically, I know that 30's and 40's these days isn't really that old because people are living longer, but society does expect you to have achieved a certain status as you get older.

I'm single, jobless and childless too, which puts me at the bottom of the pile regarding social desirability. That makes me less likely to want to socialise because I don't want to be judged.

Sorry I can't give you any words of encouragement, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this and I hope that your doctor is able to help you

With you my boy. I am also 46. For me the thing that gets to me is that EVERY single pain or ache could be something catastrophic. Right now, in a way, my life is over as I can't just go on with my life anymore. It is permanently living in the shadow of death.

[James0805]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

With you my boy. I am also 46. For me the thing that gets to me is that EVERY single pain or ache could be something catastrophic. Right now, in a way, my life is over as I can't just go on with my life anymore. It is permanently living in the shadow of death.

Thankyou for writing to me. I was told by a doctor if I was thinking about leaving this world, I would go to my local hospital emergency room. I ask that if you are thinking about hurting yourself you do the same thing. Okay?

[James0805]

Originally Posted by Apollite

I feel the same as you do and I'm in my 30's - I'm dreading turning 40! Opportunities to succeed diminish as you age and I feel as though most things are geared towards the young. Logically, I know that 30's and 40's these days isn't really that old because people are living longer, but society does expect you to have achieved a certain status as you get older.

I'm single, jobless and childless too, which puts me at the bottom of the pile regarding social desirability. That makes me less likely to want to socialise because I don't want to be judged.

Sorry I can't give you any words of encouragement, but I wanted you to know that you aren't alone in this and I hope that your doctor is able to help you

I too am jobless and childless, living in fear of judgment. Besides depression I also have social anxiety. Thank you much for reaching out to me. It's nice to meet someone who understands. My doctor is helping me. I take pills which make my condition somewhat tolerable. I wish you success sir.

[Teddy Bear]

I'm in my early 40s tying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I understand good luck

Originally Posted by James0805

Thankyou for writing to me. I was told by a doctor if I was thinking about leaving this world, I would go to my local hospital emergency room. I ask that if you are thinking about hurting yourself you do the same thing. Okay?

Ohh wow. Sorry that came out totally wrong. I just meant that getting older means I could get sick and die any day.

I am telling you.. I am NOT going. But every day I feel like I am in the hunger games. Trying to survive. When I was younger I didn't have to worry. If I had an ache or pain it was nothing. Now, everything has to be checked.

Originally Posted by Winterbritt

Hi James,

I had depression through my twenties. I used to cry on every single birthday because I felt like life had passed me by. I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere. Crying when you turn 23 because you feel like life's wasted seems pretty silly, right? I'm 32 now and I am not depressed anymore. And my birthday is my favorite day of the year.

My point is that depression lies to you, and it is a very convincing liar. It doesn't matter how old you are or how much time you have left if you believe time is running out. The idea that time is running out is just a belief. And since it makes you suffer and keeps you trapped in depression, it's a false belief.

Depression leaves you with all kinds of false beliefs that make you suffer. And you can identify them and then question them and see that they're false. And then you can purposely systematically replace them with nicer beliefs.

I did it by making lists. I have several lists that I make every night before I go to bed. And it has absolutely changed my entire world.

What if you wrote down a happy memory every night? And wrote down something you're excited about every night? Even if you don't feel happy or feel excited? What if you purposely exercise that ability by forcing your mind to go there?

For me it rediscovered those parts of my mind, and over the course of a couple of months it changed my thought patterns. It retrains you. Instead of searching around for ways you're out of time, your mind will start searching around for the joys in the future and the purpose in the past. You find the evidence you're looking for. So start asking your brain to look for something new.

Your mind will do what you tell it to do if you keep kindly nudging it in the right direction.

What do you think about trying that?

What a wonderful response! I’m going to take the what are you excited about to the Game Room

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by James0805

My med doctor recently re-diagnosed me with major depression.

Not a day goes by when I can't believe I am in my late 40's. I really haven't done anything with my life. I am really bummed about all this. It feels like I have very little time left to accomplish anything. It all went by so fast. Please help me. Any words of encouragement would be gold to me. Thank you so much.

James

When I think about accomplishing something and data I read about the internet, accomplishing in life is just a way of attracting people into your life. You yourself have other things to accomplish depending on your needs.
But... if there are things you truly want to accomplish, then it's only a matter of battling through struggles to reach out to your objectives and accomplish them.

[FallDuskTrain]

I turned 40 this year. Single by choice and childless.
I have suffered from clinical depression since I was 12.
Turning forty was particularly tough for me because I finally realized that I had spent the last two decades letting depression stop me from executing my dreams. Stupid that I am, it took me this long to realize that I let depression rule the last two decades.
In any event, this realization triggered me and I relapsed and I spent the majority of 2017 crying and hiding in bed. While it has been awful, it also has forced me to focus on my recovery, learning to let go and go after the simple life that I would like to embrace.

[Sunflower123]

I empathize. I turned 50 this year and it’s bothering me. The other birthdays, no problem but 50 got me. In addition, my only child went off to a college 2 hours away so I feel a little rudderless since that was my purpose. As I’m typing this though I’m feeling excited about what my 50’s hold for me. I was severely depressed during the entire decade of my 40’s and am looking forward to what life holds now that I feel a little bit better. I think I’ll adopt some of Winterbritt’s practices as well. I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you for this thread.

[Blues47]

Late 40s as well, wish I could still muster feeling bummed.

from the show Louie sums it up quite well.

[Ozisl]

Sometimes I feel really bad about getting older, as well. I had my official diagnosis (ie, getting meds) in 2003. It really kinda shut down my social life; this was just after college. I haven't been able to hold down a job, because I can't really interact with people because of my conditions. I moved away from my college town, so I have no friends. It sometimes feels like 14 years of a blur of nothingness. No highlights, no poignant moments. I have a very hard time even pegging when/how long ago something happened.

The trick is to find the things that do matter. For me, I live somewhat vicariously through my niece and nephews. I won't ever pass down my psych issues to kids, so I enjoy them as much as I can. I try not to rule things out in the future. I do hobbies that keep me busy, like programming, where I can measure progress and take pride in something I can create.

For the most part there are some better things going on in my life since I'm older now. I would say it's mostly material things that have improved as of now compared to decades ago; and I have a job that's very well suited for me, which I didn't have before. Socially, it's gone very down. I feel like having a good social life with family and friends is something great that all the money in the world cannot buy. As of now I only have one friend and I'm feeling like that's dwindling. My family is very much dead in the water. It's almost non-existent now. I have only one sister and she's very bogged down and does not have much time for me.

So between having my social life on the skids and my health not being as good as it used to be, I am bummed about getting older. If my job and savings go, then there might be nothing to live for.

Originally Posted by ArcheM

The point is, you don't necessarily have to be limited by an aging body, and many people seem to completely reinvent themselves mentally from time to time. Although I obviously can't speak with any authority, being much younger. But you have asked.

I was thinking the other day about the Queen of England and how great she is doing.

Originally Posted by Blues47

Late 40s as well, wish I could still muster feeling bummed.

from the show Louie sums it up quite well.

Very depressing. I have been watching 13 reasons why on Netflix and the thing I most want to scream at the character who is suicidal is WHY? I mean you don't know how good you have it.

[rjdb]

I am 41, married, but my wife is similar to me. We are struggling to have kids. Our window feels like it's closing. I don't have any close friends to talk to.

[Blues47]

Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton

Very depressing.

Oh see I didn't find it depressing at all, just familiar. Not sure if it was Louie or Doug but whoever wrote it clearly knows it firsthand. That line about 'when the want goes'...that's beyond a lay understanding of depression.

Originally Posted by Blues47

Oh see I didn't find it depressing at all, just familiar. Not sure if it was Louie or Doug but whoever wrote it clearly knows it firsthand. That line about 'when the want goes'...that's beyond a lay understanding of depression.

Agreed. Agree that it was one of the best depictions of depression on tv. But for me it is depressing. Probably because it is familiar.