so I'm a listener on this other website and this guy from australia wanted to talk about his issues to me

I listened and gave advice and he's like.. do you know something, you are so boring

me: I'm here to listen, not to make things interesting

I left feeling pretty upset

how can a listener be " boring", or " interesting"

you just listen and give appropriate advice

I don't get the concept of that.. if listeners are supposed to be " interesting", what makes a listener interesting?

anyway quite upset over it

[unaluna]

I think you did pretty good if you didnt call him any bad names after that! Omg! I was thinking of volunteering for a help line, but i cant volunteer for that! Youre my hero!

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

so I'm a listener on this other website and this guy from australia wanted to talk about his issues to me

I listened and gave advice and he's like.. do you know something, you are so boring

me: I'm here to listen, not to make things interesting

I left feeling pretty upset

how can a listener be " boring", or " interesting"

you just listen and give appropriate advice

I don't get the concept of that.. if listeners are supposed to be " interesting", what makes a listener interesting?

anyway quite upset over it

maybe he expected more humor in your responses
maybe he expected more then just a generic response....

let me show you...

I sit here and listen to my kids...

child....Miney wants out
me..... ok go let her out.

appropriate and generic.

well the other morning I made my listening and responding more interesting...

Child.... Miney wants out
me ......What again?! man too bad this dog doesnt know how to open the door herself huh. I guess you need to let her out huh, unless you want a swimming pool in the kitchen.
Child....giggle giggle, Mommy you are going to make communicating interesting today.

that started an all day war on who could really listen and not only give expected responses but make it interesting and funny. the children learned a lot about how its different to just listen. and listen as if they are interested, and respond vs responding in a way that got others to listen to them.

there really is a difference in just listening or listening with interest, responding or responding with interest.

[SorryShaped]

That's another of his issues.

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm not sure of what he wanted, either :/ perhaps he wanted you to distract him for a little while by talking about something else.

[Fuzzybear]

Name calling? In my opinion it’s very uncool, and at risk of being “repetitive” it’s very boring.

I also think you did good if you didn’t react or respond to his garbage. Clearly he has .. a lot of.. probably undisclosed issues.

I would probably growl at him if he said that to me. What a jerk.

Calling someone boring is bad manners and tasteless. It's a reflection of them and not you.

Wow. That was rude. Well personally I prefer “boring” people. And I am one. 🤫

[Candy1955]

I think that rudeness by the other person was inexcusable.

[ShadowGX]

What a jerk... It's kind of you to be a listener, please don't let that person ruin it for you. I'm sure you've helped a lot of people by doing just as you do.

[splitimage]

I used to volunteer on a Distress Line, and would occasionally be told something similar.

At the line I volunteered on, we weren't allowed to give any advice. Instead we were trained in active listening and motivational questioning to help people figure out for themselves what they wanted, around whatever issue they had called in about. That worked for about 70% of the calls.

Then there were the regulars who just called into talk because they were socially isolated and lonely. On those calls, the objective was to make conversation, but we were discouraged from sharing too much information about ourselves, and were supposed to keep the conversation focused on the caller - kind of hard to do when they want to talk politics. Those were the calls I struggled with being "interesting" enough on.

I wouldn't take what the caller said personally. He clearly needed something different than you were prepared / allowed to offer.

splitimage

[ptangptang]

I'm going to play devils advocate. so while I don't think it's appropriate that he called you boring for just listening (which I understand that volunteers on crisis lines like the Samaritans are told to do) it's also nice if you get a bit of 2 way flow, more like a normal conversation. Don't take it personally though, i'm sure you're not boring. Kudos to you for doing it in the first place.

[RainyDay107]

I suspect he was projecting or trying to manipulate you. You handled it well. His issue, not yours.