[Harmony]

I am married to a loving husband and we have a young daughter who is a handful. On several occasions my daughter has not done her school work, lied and stole. When I approach my husband regarding her behaviour and her punishment he tells me I am too hard on her and to back off. I feel like a single parent and feel that my daughter will grow up to resent me and love her father more. She has already told me that she hates me. My husband is a hard worker but come weekends is gone with his sports buddies and I am left alone to watch the house and discipline my daughter's terrible behavior.

[Doh2007]

Wow. You're really in a no win situation. Having survived a son's adolescence, I recommend _Parent in Control_ by Gregory Bodenhamer. Maybe you'll be able to share some ideas with the hubbie.

[Perna]

How old is your daughter?

[old_one]

Some men have trouble disciplining daughters. I'm lucky to have boys cause i know i would. If I had a girl she would have me wrapped around her finger. But with your husband going off with the guys and leaving you to deal with it sounds like he is being pretty much an absent parent, not just lax on the discipline.

Just remember, she may say she hates you now, because she is not getting what she wants, but in the long run she will love you for it. She will remember which parent she can count on. Who took care of her and kept her on the right path.

Remind your husband that if he is not involved with her now, and that includes discipline, she will most likely not care to be involved with him later in life. The years when we have our kids at home with us are way too short. Mine are grown now and don't need their old man much anymore. But they still hang out with me

[Harmony]

Thank you all for your suggestions. My daughter is 10.
I am truly afraid that she will hate me later in life because I am the "heavy". This has happened to my older sister recently. She was the sole disciplinarian with her two daughters. They are now 20 & 21. The younger girl has publicly made it known that she hates her mother because of her upbringing but yet the 21 year old has a good relationship with her mom. The situation has become so severe, that there has been mention made that Crystal may be disinherited from her family's estate. I am so afraid of such public embarrassment happening to me in the future, I feel like giving in to my daughter's demands and overlooking her behavior. I do not want her to hate me. My husband is so happy-go-lucky and good natured that the things she does truly do not have an effect on him.

[SeptemberMorn]

Lying and stealing are some pretty bad habits to get into. Someone, probably you, NEED to discipline and nip that in the bud NOW. If heard tell that kids do look for discipline and boundaries. It could be possible that your daughter is looking for that from her dad.

I can't believe that he thinks you should back off in these instances.