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#1
Nov 22, 2007, 06:34 AM
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I don't want to go on living my life this way, I want things to be the way they used to be before I was depressed. I know it will never happen. If I could go back in time and find the exact point that my depression started I would change whatever the change was. there is no sense living in the past I know, but my future does not seem bright with the woman that I love, the woman I promised my life to and the woman who gave birth to my two lovely children. I want to be happy but I feel like I am on a never ending slope and each step I take does not get me closer to the goal I am trying to acheive. I can see the top of the mountain, but I am not making it there for some reason. I know I am not going to give up, but I just need some help being pushed up that mountain. Reinforcement of some kind. My life is not a terrible life this illness just really gets me down it makes me think about things that are not true. It makes me second guess people and their intentions. It makes my wife feel like I do not love her. The depression has got to go...I will not allow it to swallow my life...I am a fighter...I am that Dragon...I am stronger than my depression...just a little help that is all. The Dragon's heart of fire needs to be stoked a little to get the embers burning again. I am not a person that does not love, I am a person that is depressed and cannot help it. I just want to wrap my arms around my family and tell them that I am back. That is all, I am not seeking forgiveness because I have already forgiven myself and I know God has too. I am just seeking touch.
__________________
My life is my life it is not ruled by the broken me anymore!!!!!!! No Harm, No Foul!!! |
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#2
Nov 22, 2007, 08:13 AM
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Keep fighting Dragon. Sometimes it seems there is no end to the darkness, its like running in a dream and you just arn't moving.
You are moving, you are determined, and the fire is still burning. Just keep working it day by day, you will get up that mountian. Just keep moving forward, step by step. |
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#3
Nov 22, 2007, 10:53 AM
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(((((((dragon))))))
You are so self aware - that is a starting point. You know it is the depression that holds and lies to you....there will come a turning point with your t and all that you are doing...I hear you sweetie, I have faith in you too....sending positive thoughts your way.... Love Jin xx |
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#4
Nov 22, 2007, 01:03 PM
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pushing.... pushing..... PUSHHHHHHHH ... having a little trouble with my mountains today dragon....don't feel alone...
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#5
Nov 22, 2007, 01:14 PM
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Well as long as we are in this together Nowhere I think we are golden. We dragons can be kind of heavy what with all the scales. Thanks for the note.
__________________
My life is my life it is not ruled by the broken me anymore!!!!!!! No Harm, No Foul!!! |
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